Babes in Arms, We Are

31 Then Jesus said to them, You will all be offended and stumble and fall away because of Me this night [distrusting and deserting Me], for it is written, I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.
32 But after I am raised up [to life again], I will go ahead of you to Galilee.
33 Peter declared to Him, Though they all are offended and stumble and fall away because of You [and distrust and desert You], I will never do so.
34 Jesus said to him, Solemnly I declare to you, this very night, before a single rooster crows, you will deny and disown Me three times.
35 Peter said to Him, Even if I must die with You, I will not deny or disown You! And all the disciples said the same thing. 

65 Then the high priest tore his clothes and exclaimed, He has uttered blasphemy! What need have we of further evidence? You have now heard His blasphemy.
66 What do you think now? They answered, He deserves to be put to death.
67 Then they spat in His face and struck Him with their fists; and some slapped Him in the face,
68 Saying, Prophesy to us, You Christ (the Messiah)! Who was it that struck You?
69 Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard, and one maid came up to him and said, You were also with Jesus the Galilean!
70 But he denied it falsely before them all, saying, I do not know what you mean.
71 And when he had gone out to the porch, another maid saw him, and she said to the bystanders, This fellow was with Jesus the Nazarene!
72 And again he denied it and disowned Him with an oath, saying, I do not know the Man!
73 After a little while, the bystanders came up and said to Peter, You certainly are one of them too, for even your accent betrays you.
74 Then Peter began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, I do not even know the Man! And at that moment a rooster crowed.
75 And Peter remembered Jesus’ words, when He had said, Before a single rooster crows, you will deny and disown Me three times. And he went outside and wept bitterly. (Matt 26, AMP)

Reading Matthew 26 this morning, Peter's experience really stood out to me. Peter was so loyal, so solid. His heart was passionate and fiery, so devoted to Yeshua. He knew who He was, and declared with all he had that he would never betray Him.

And then, he did.

How many times have I done the same thing? Thought I was (insert just about any good moral quality here), only to be put into a place of testing, and discover that "as to my own strength, I am nothing"?

Too many to count.

I love this story of Peter's, because I know what comes next:

19 Then on that same first day of the week, when it was evening, though the disciples were behind closed doors for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, Peace to you!
20 So saying, He showed them His hands and His side. And when the disciples saw the Lord, they were filled with joy (delight, exultation, ecstasy, rapture).
21 Then Jesus said to them again, Peace to you! [Just] as the Father has sent Me forth, so I am sending you.
22 And having said this, He breathed on them and said to them, Receive the Holy Spirit! (John 20 AMP)

I think I'm finally beginning to fully grasp just what grace is. How much like infants we are, and how deeply forgiving and patient the Lord is with us, as if we are still learning to focus our eyes and reach out to grasp a toy. We all go through a spiritual form of the cephalocaudal development that babies do. And I rejoice that my Lord and my God sees me that way, instead of as a harsh taskmaster that punishes severely when I miss the mark, or drop the toy.

Father, thank You for Your mercy and grace. Thank You for Your divine and perfect patience. For Your long-suffering and Your faithfulness. I know that what You speak, You do. Lord, pour out Your love into the hearts of those that are suffering, who don't yet know Your heart. Teach them Who You Are, and how You see them. Heal their hearts, draw them all to You, and let Your Kingdom be built and strengthened in hearts everywhere, so Your children can be filled with joy! In Jesus' beloved name, amen.

My reading this morning was Matthew 23-24, and I had a really hard time choosing a passage to journal about, because I love these chapters SO much, and could talk about nearly every verse at length. I might just have to study these for several days, and see what Yeshua has waiting for me in them.

Then Jesus said to the multitudes and to His disciples, The scribes and Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat [of authority]. So observe and practice all they tell you; but do not do what they do, for they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy loads, hard to bear, and place them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves will not lift a finger to help bear them. They do all their works to be seen of men; for they make wide their phylacteries (small cases enclosing certain Scripture passages, worn during prayer on the left arm and forehead) and make long their fringes [worn by all male Israelites, according to the command]. And they take pleasure in and [thus] love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues, And to be greeted with honor in the marketplaces and to have people call them rabbi. But you are not to be called rabbi (teacher), for you have one Teacher and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone [in the church] on earth father, for you have one Father, Who is in heaven. And you must not be called masters (leaders), for you have one Master (Leader), the Christ. He who is greatest among you shall be your servant. (Matthew 23:1-11 AMP) 

Jesus gave these instructions, not out of dislike or disdain for the Pharisees, but out of love for those who would follow Him. He set out the guidelines necessary for keeping men’s hearts soft, for allowing all an equal privilege to grow and serve and gain a connection to heaven, and to warn against the all-too attractive pattern of elevating mortals one above another.

When I read this passage this morning, my very fleshly first response was to think of those who followed this same pattern the Pharisees did, who took pride in their office, who usurped power God never gave them, by virtue of it. But then, Holy Spirit (thank God!) whispered to my heart that they are all just people . . . people with earnest intentions and weaknesses of the flesh common to man, who wanted to do what was right, but due to their flesh or the traditions of their fathers or ignorance of the Word or all of the above, fell prey to the very things Yeshua warns against. And I thought how unfair it is to leaders to elevate them in this way, no matter the arena, whether church or government or community or business. To idolize someone is destructive not only to the one doing the idolizing, but to the one idolized. Idolizing puts tremendous pressure on its object . . . they have no room to make mistakes, no opportunity to confess, are denied the flexibility of repentance and growth that comes from walking as the Word says a Christian should walk. That’s so, so unfair. So unjust!

Father, show me, in my heart, where I might harbor idolization for people or things or ideas. Shed Your Spirit upon Your people in abundance, that they can know You better, and love one another without reserve. Teach the Body better how to walk as equals together, esteeming all as brothers and sisters, honoring and loving one another without reserve because we are YOURS, not because one is called “elder”, “pastor”, "pope", or whatever. Let us love and care for one another as if we are ALL pastors—let us all have that same dedication to the Word, to prayer, to worship, to carry that same weight of love for one another. We are one, in You, Lord. Let us open our hearts more and more to You, let us pray more and more to You, and Father God open our eyes to the prophetic, seeing things as You see them, and opening our mouths to speak that perspective into life in our circumstance.

Father, Your people have so much potential! I feel it all around me when the Body gathers. It IS a force to be reckoned with . . . but we don’t quite know how, or we don’t quite trust ourselves enough, to step out into the unknown and let You have Your way. Father God, speak to our hearts the solid assurance, the sweet assurance, that You are ever with us. It is our eyes and hearts and ears that need to learn better to detect Your presence. Our city NEEDS this potential that is brewing amongst us. Our families NEED this joy that is about to be unleashed. This land NEEDS the refreshing in the Holy Spirit that is coming. I keep seeing floodwaters—a flood of the Holy Spirit that rushes in and overwhelms everything in its path. But instead of a destructive force, it gives LIFE, it gives LIBERTY, it gives CLEANSING and RENEWAL. Lord, quiet our hearts, remind us to cast fear out from among us, so we can welcome this flood with open arms and know that if You send waters to cover the earth, You will give us gills. You will equip us with whatever we need—indeed, You already HAVE—to not just survive, but to THRIVE in the circumstances ahead. I don’t know how to describe the weight of glory, the promise of joy, the brilliant shining of what You have planned . . . but I can hardly wait. (If I wasn’t so exquisitely aware of my own weaknesses and failings, I wouldn’t have any patience at all! lol)

Father, show Your people Your heart, yet again. Show us Your patience, Your plans. Open the hearts and minds of those that love you, and draw them to You, God, and let them see. Let all of us see! Let us feel. Let us KNOW You, better and better every moment. Unleash the beauty in each one of us, and let us flood the earth with YOU. In Jesus’ name, so be it! Amen!!!

And the Blind Cried Out . . .

"And as they were going out of Jericho, a great throng accompanied Him. And behold, two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was passing by, they cried out, Lord, have pity and mercy on us, You Son of David! The crowds reproved them and told them to keep still; but they cried out all the more, Lord, have pity and mercy on us, You Son of David! And Jesus stopped and called them, and asked, What do you want Me to do for you? They answered Him, Lord, we want our eyes to be opened! And Jesus, in pity, touched their eyes; and instantly they received their sight and followed Him." ~Matthew 20:30-34 AMP

As I read this, it really struck me how the two blind men "cried out" to the Lord. They believed--had a firm and unwavering reliance--that He could restore their sight. So they cried aloud, above the noise of the "great throng". And when those in the crowd told them to shut up, they only raised their voices to be heard above the reproof. What would that take? For a couple of vociferous Jews, maybe not too much. But what about me? Do I have the faith to cry out aloud to my God for the miracles I need, despite the efforts of others to the contrary? Do I really trust that God will be my provider? Do I really trust that He will hear and answer me in the generous love that is so fully expressed on nearly ever page of scripture?

Yes, I believe He will. And so I will cry out, I will petition Him, I will even seek Him as insistently as the woman in the parable of the unjust judge wearied the judge until he relented and gave her justice. I will seek Him until I, too, hear His voice sounding in my own ears, saying "What do you want Me to do for you?" . . .

Last night, just as I was falling asleep, I pondered on this very thing, this work of receiving the Lord's voice, and His actual presence. He is no respecter of persons, and so if He has ever appeared to anyone else (which He has), then I have the same chance as those others did who saw and talked with Him. I wondered, "How, Lord? How is it done?" And the answer came, softly, but with clarity and solidity: "Fill yourself with the Word . . . for Jesus is the Word."

As we dive into scripture, filling ourselves with God's Word, we allow Him to teach us. We can open our minds to renewal through His Word and the Holy Spirit. We expose our minds and hearts to truth, and the Holy Ghost testifies of that truth, and bit by bit the light in us grows until it is as noon day.

God, thank You. Thank You for teaching me. Thank You for leading me. Thank You for the incredible mercy and grace that you offer to all of us, always. Because of the fall of Adam, all mankind are lost, and no matter how hard we might work to change that, we cannot merit anything of ourselves. We cannot think that Your role is to help us a little, here and there, as we press forward, enduring like good Christian soldiers. Salvation is not about putting a bandaid on a few little scrapes here and there . . . it is SALVATION. It is being snatched from the jaws of death by an All-powerful, All-able God Who has triumphed over all things. The fall wasn't just like going on vacation--you chance your locale, but remain basically the same. The fall fundamentally changed all creation, such that it was no longer naturally a home for the glory of God. Mankind FELL, and became sinful. Not just prone to a few little mistakes, if we try really hard to be good, but fundamentally flawed and unacceptable to You unless we surrender ourselves to You and You make us new through the baptism of fire and the actual receipt of the Holy Ghost that awakens the inner man and changes ALL things within us. God, I praise You for sending Yeshua to be the Lamb of God, to triumph in breaking the bonds of sin and death that we labor under, and that crying out to Him actually works. Lord, shine Your light ever more upon the earth. Show more and more people the way to life and salvation: the Lord Jesus Christ. Be merciful to those who are blinded by the attractiveness and smooth words of men in positions of power. Teach those who love You the truth, and let us feel You more and more in our lives, God. Give us strength to follow through with the changes for good we make, as we seek to be transformed through Your Spirit into Your likeness. And open all things to our understanding, so we may receive more of Your glory and pour it forth abundantly into the earth, in Jesus' name, amen.

And when they approached the multitude, a man came up to Him, kneeling before Him and saying, Lord, do pity and have mercy on my son, for he has epilepsy (is moonstruck) and he suffers terribly; for frequently he falls into the fire and many times into the water. And I brought him to Your disciples, and they were not able to cure him.  

And Jesus answered, O you unbelieving (warped, wayward, rebellious) and thoroughly perverse generation! How long am I to remain with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him here to Me.  

And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him, and the boy was cured instantly. 

Then the disciples came to Jesus and asked privately, Why could we not drive it out? 

He said to them, Because of the littleness of your faith [that is, your lack of firmly relying trust]. For truly I say to you, if you have faith [that is living] like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. ~Matthew 17:14-20 AMP

The amplifications of the words unbelieving and faith really jumped out at me, this morning. I've been kind of ruminating on them all day. Unbelief isn't a simple case of not believing something true . . . it's believing in something untrue, some kind of strange version, or mirror opposite, to the truth. Unbelief is following a false tradition, a lie. In order to harbor unbelief in your heart, one's thinking about the topic over which one harbors unbelief must be warped, wayward, or rebellious. That's why unbelief is so hard to make a dent in: it masquerades as faith, and convinces its adherents that they are truly righteous.

Contrast this with faith: a "firmly relying trust". Can I firmly rely upon something false, wayward, or rebellious? Maybe so . . . but it will warp everything else I believe in, because reliance upon something weak (warped things are weakened) requires altering many other things as well. It breeds fear, because the inherent weakness and instability of leaning upon a weak reed is something that the heart and spirit know, even if the mind does not see. And I will rue my false allegiance in the end, when I finally see how that thing in which I trusted has no power to save. If I have a firmly relying trust in something, I don't fear being overcome in that area. I don't worry about being deceived. I don't fret. (Unless I'm actually playing a guitar. ;o)) There is solid resolve, and an easiness of mind and heart, that underlies whatever might come my way, because I have a firm reliance on my God, Who is not only actually Omnipotent, but He never fails me. (I've failed Him too many times to count . . . but He comes through every time I do as He asks. Every time. No make-up work. No spiritual usury. When I turn to Him, He is there, suddenly, in an instant.)

In family study tonight we read in Luke 13 where Jesus describes the Kingdom of Heaven as both a single mustard seed that grows into a tree where birds find haven, and a little yeast that a woman uses to leaven her whole batch of bread. Faith is something that has power. It is a living thing, like a seed, or yeast, that, when fed and given the right conditions, blooms and expands and changes everything around it. The mustard seed grew into a "tree", where birds could nest and roost. It also would have provided shade for small creatures, and been a place where insects could hide. It would help conserve the soil and shade it such that it might dry out less quickly. Yeast changes the entire character of loaves of bread, from nearly inedible bricks to something wonderful and lovely and comforting to eat.  Abraham did tell his three visitors that he would fetch them three morsels of bread to comfort their hearts. (Gen 18:5 KJV) In both cases, the conditions must be right: the mustard seed must have moisture in the earth and sunshine in the sky to grow and thrive (mustard is a vigorous plant, not needing especially fertile soil); and the yeast must have dough that isn't too salty, or too dry, or too cold, any of which will stunt or kill the yeast. But when the right conditions are provided, watch out. ;o) Amazing things are just around the corner.

Father in Heaven, I want to provide the right conditions for my faith to behave like a mustard seed, well-germinated and taking off like gangbusters. My heart longs to be able to bless the lives of others around me, to pray healing over those who will receive it, and to be an encounter with the love of God for all those I meet. Lord, keep teaching me. Keep nudging me, keep directing me, keep speaking into my heart. I hear You . . . I'm just fallible and mortal and have weaknesses that I'm still learning to abandon to You. You have saved me from my sin, cleansed my vessel and made me into a new creation . . . I'm not giving up, and I'm not giving in, even though I still sometimes fall prey to those weaknesses. Lord, just keep saving me. And save others by using me for Your purposes. I want to serve. I want to be a part of a body of Your believers.  I want to love my husband and children more . . . I want to feel joy in my home, and in my everyday responsibilities. It has been so long, Lord, so long. Come and make us all new, so we might worship You in grace and truth, and Vern and I can bring our children into Your light. In Jesus' name, so be it. Amen.

Change is the Heart of Repentance

"I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. For by the grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him." ~Romans 12:1-3 AMP

Here, Paul urges the Romans to offer to God the whole of themselves, to learn what He would have them do, to learn everything He has to offer, and in so doing, to allow Him to transform them into His likeness, to understand Him and His way of doing things, His reality. 

This passage has been on my mind for a long time, now. As I've mulled it over, meditating on what Paul says here, the principles of repentance keep coming to mind. There are many more things I've learned from this passage, but repentance is the topic for today.

As you may already know, the Greek word for repentance means a change of mind, a fresh new perspective which results in a change of behavior. This only comes about when we learn. Without learning, repentance cannot happen. Repentance is not just feeling really, really guilty or shameful about something, confessing, apologizing and making restitution. Shame and guilt can be taught into someone, trained into them, and then called forth on demand based on behavior, regardless of a person's understanding of right and wrong. Restitution is often not within the bounds of our mortal power to give. We cannot heal broken hearts. We cannot restore innocence lost. No. Repentance has far more to do with God, and our invitation to Him to work in our lives, than it does with any checklist.

What we want to see, when we seek repentance, is gaining understanding that reveals the truth, showing our behavior in the true light of God's teachings. We need to learn, and in learning, to change our minds. To "renew" the way we see things. Right thinking--thoughts and beliefs in alignment with God and His Truth--increase faith. Not just the trust we have in God, but the actions that must follow in order for faith to save. Learning right thinking changes our minds. And when our minds truly change, our behavior follows. Without change, no real learning has happened. Without change, no repentance has happened.

Change is the heart of repentance.

Father God, I thank You so incredibly much for the blessings in my life. For my faculties, for my education and the understanding You have given me, for my children, my husband, my family, my friends. An "abundance of counselors", indeed. Father, as I start into this next stretch of time, teach me please. Renew my mind continually with Your Knowledge and Your Wisdom. Reveal to me Your perspective in every situation, so I may walk in Your paths. Transform me into someone who can serve You, who can serve those in need and pour Your love out into them. Show me the way to walk through this life of mine, that has been turned upside down and inside out. Show me Your will in all things, Father, and show me how You would have me proceed. You are the One Who has all Wisdom, all Knowledge, all Mercy, Grace and Power, Lord. You are the source of every good thing in my life, and the comfort for every ill. You have sought me out, reclaimed me, and instructed me when I thought I had it all figured out, and I will treasure Your teachings, Your redemption, and Your insistent, persistent Love always. In Yeshua's holy name, Amen.

Whom Shall I Fear?

I shared this meme on facebook today:

Here is the fuller Christian context of that quote:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father." ~John 14:12

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"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit." ~Romans 8:1-4

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"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." ~Romans 8:38-39

Or, in the English Standard Version: 

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." ~Romans 8:37-39

Danny Lee Silk wasn't saying we'd never feel anything from the atmosphere around us. Look at the words he used: because of our victory in Christ Jesus, we don't have to be affected, or infected, by what we experience around us. None of it has to change our course, impinge upon our faith, or inspire fear or despair. We don't ever have to lay blame, or responsibility, upon anyone else for what we do, or what we believe. Jesus has offered us all that He has . . . and as we seek Him, we can become more and more the way Danny described. Take Elijah, for example:

"Then Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “You go first, for there are many of you. Choose one of the bulls, and prepare it and call on the name of your god. But do not set fire to the wood.”

So they prepared one of the bulls and placed it on the altar. Then they called on the name of Baal from morning until noontime, shouting, “O Baal, answer us!” But there was no reply of any kind.

Then they danced, hobbling around the altar they had made.

About noontime Elijah began mocking them. “You’ll have to shout louder,” he scoffed, “for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming, or is relieving himself. Or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!” ~1 Kings 18:25-27, NLT

Then there's Enoch:

 And so great was the faith of Enoch that he led the people of God, and their enemies came to battle against them; and he spake the word of the Lord, and the earth trembled, and the mountains fled, even according to his command; and the rivers of water were turned out of their course; and the roar of the lions was heard out of the wilderness; and all nations feared greatly, so powerful was the word of Enoch, and so great was the power of the language which God had given him. ~Moses 7:13

Our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the mighty and powerful King of Heaven's Armies of the Old Testament. He is the tender and careful Good Shepherd of the New Testament. He is the Risen Lord, who will wipe away our tears, and He is the Glorified Messiah who sits at the right hand of the Father, an advocate for us with Him. He didn't go through all He went through just so we could be limited here. If one child of God was able to receive power from heaven to part the seas, or to raise the dead, or to set at defiance the armies of nations, or shut the mouths of lions, then it is within reach of us ALL to do incredible things, for our God is no respecter of persons.

So . . . what are we waiting for? What does your heart long to do, in the name of the Lord, to bless His children? Is it to sing praise? To heal? To hear and understand such that you can comfort those who mourn? To preach the Gospel of the Risen Lord, so all mankind can come unto Him and be saved? Look deep inside your heart, and see what God has placed there . . . because whatever He has planted in your heart, He has also provisioned for you, and He will show you the way to realize the dreams and longings you cherish.

Now, let's go forward in faith, and obtain the word of the Lord, as Enoch did, so, once we have obtained His word, and our faith grows ever stronger, we might do His will, and be conduits for His power in the earth. 

For signs follow them that believe.

 

Some thoughts about Jesus

"Though thousands crowded around Him daily, He was sensitive to the needs of the individual- the infirm who touched the hem of His garment, the small of stature who sat in in tree to see Him over the multitude. 

After being betrayed by one he called Friend, the Lord of Hosts was taken by a mob to an illegal trial where He, the Great Lawgiver, was falsely accused and incriminated. The King of kings was then judged by mortal rulers, and taking the place of a seditious murder, the Scapegoat of Israel was condemned to death. 

At Pilate's command, the Gentle Healer was scourged, bruised, broken, and torn. Then the Carpenter from Nazareth carried his wooden cross through scorning crowds to Golgotha, where in ultimate irony, He, the only perfect person to ever walk the earth, descended below all things, being raised up between two criminals to justify a guilty race. 

Though appointed to be the judge of all mankind, He plead for the forgiveness of His tormentors. And while the world trembled in distress of His agony, He worried about the welfare of a woman, His mother. His death brought darkness to the earth. His resurrection brought light and eternal life. 

Little did the hypocrites who consented to His death know when they cried for His blood to be upon them that one day untold billions would plead for His blood to be upon them, not to condemn but to redeem. 

To us is His promise that those who lose their life for His sake shall find it, that through Him, scarlet sins may become white like wool, and that those who deny themselves of all ungodliness will inherit all that God has. 

Though the Son of Man had nowhere to lay His head, He has prepared many mansions for us in His Father's house. May we take comfort in knowing that the Creator of worlds without end still numbers the hairs of our head. He who clothes the lilies of the field will clothe us in spotless robes of righteousness. The One who cried, "Why hast thou forsaken me," has promised that He will not leave us comfortless. Someday the Man of Sorrows will wipe all the tears from our eyes." ~T.G.

"Come Unto Me", by Jon McNaughton. Used with permission.

What Do I Want for Christmas?

I want the starving children fed--in my own little town, among the membership of the LDS church, and throughout the whole world 

I want the orphans, dependent upon the generosity of others, provided for.

I want the exploited rescued, and to have safe places for them to sleep and learn. 

I want the street children in Manilla, abandoned by their destitute parents who simply couldn't feed them, to have the basic things they need: shoes, school supplies, regular meals, combs, toothbrushes, a shower to use, and a safe place to sleep.

My family is operating under a tighter budget than we ever have had to before. We are living in the least square foot per person we have ever lived. And yet, compared to so, so many, even in our own little community, we are wealthy. We have a lovely little home. We have decent beds to sleep in. We have all the first world conveniences we want: cars that run reliably, gas to run them, washer & dryer, dishwasher, heat, air conditioning, electricity, running water, hot water, a roof that doesn't leak, and our floors aren't made of dirt. (Although sometimes during mud season the mats inside the front door might fool you for a minute.)

My children have a family that loves them, and a safe place to grow and learn. Contrast that with the early life of one of my best friends, who was born into prostitution to a sex-trafficked mother, and rescued at eight years old, after her mother's death, by God working an absolute miracle in the Canadian court system.

My children are well-fed, and are in no danger of suffering from the debilitating or deadly effects of malnutrition, unlike 80,000+ active LDS children in the world, and too many in my little town.

My husband and I love one another. Our marriage is strong--strong because we have learned to forgive, and are learning how to grow, both together and alongside one another. 

We definitely have our share of difficulties and trials. We are given weaknesses, after all, that the Lord may show forth His strength in us. But our basic needs are met. The Lord will continue to provide. I just wish we had endless income, so I could feed and clothe and house every cold, hungry, lonely soul.

      11 Wherefore, I must tell you the truth according to the plainness of the word of God. For behold, as I inquired of the Lord, thus came the word unto me, saying: Jacob, get thou up into the temple on the morrow, and declare the word which I shall give thee unto this people.
      12 And now behold, my brethren, this is the word which I declare unto you, that many of you have begun to search for gold, and for silver, and for all manner of precious ores, in the which this land, which is a land of promise unto you and to your seed, doth abound most plentifully.
      13 And the hand of providence hath smiled upon you most pleasingly, that you have obtained many riches . . .
      14 And now, my brethren, do ye suppose that God justifieth you in this thing? Behold, I say unto you, Nay. But he condemneth you, and if ye persist in these things his judgments must speedily come unto you.
      15 O that he would show you that he can pierce you, and with one glance of his eye he can smite you to the dust!
      16 O that he would rid you from this iniquity and abomination. And, O that ye would listen unto the word of his commands, and let not this pride of your hearts destroy your souls!
      17 Think of your brethren like unto yourselves, and be familiar with all and free with your substance, that they may be rich like unto you.
      18 But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God.
      19 And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted. (Jacob 2)

We don't have riches. But to those who might . . . please consider those who not only don't have riches, but suffer hunger and cold.

      34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
      35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
      36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
      37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
      38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
      39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
      40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:40)

If the Internet Died Tomorrow

What would I wish I had said?

I would wish I had praised and proclaimed my Lord, one more time. He is Good. He is Faithful--always! And He is so much more than I ever dreamt. He has saved me from my sins . . . made a way for me to move forward in faith and hope and JOY, instead of the despair that was the very air I breathed, before . . . and I hope and pray that everyone can learn this for themselves, can taste of the goodness of His love, can experience the profound, revolutionary paradigm shift that comes when you have a radical encounter with the Love that is God. 

Jesus Christ is a GENEROUS God. He stands waiting to redeem us, every one, right now! He stands waiting for us to turn and face Him, wherever we are, so we can receive the good, good things He wants desperately to give to us. So He can enfold us in His embrace and know of His goodness. We cannot slog this out on our own!!! We cannot, ever, "get it right", no matter how hard we try . . . we were given weaknesses so we could be proven in the midst of the test that is this life, while Jesus was given the Spirit without measure, so He could overcome sin and death. We were given weakness. And because of that mortal weakness, we can never be good in the eyes of God, save under one condition only: that we receive the redemption He offers us, by virtue of His victory over sin and death, offered out of His astounding love for us. We can only be righteous when we are clothed in His righteousness. We can only be holy when He has made us so. We can only see His promises to the faithful fulfilled when we stop trying to earn them, and instead realize that, while the blessings and exaltation we all long for absolutely require diligence and effort, we cannot merit them! We must first receive justification through our Savior by the baptism of fire, and then do what He asks, in all humility, giving every day, every moment, every thought, word and deed, as best we can as a love offering to Him.

I would wish I had been able to find the words to plead with those I love to seek Jesus Christ. Not after the traditions of our fathers, but in plain simplicity. To dismantle the box we put God in. We've put God in a box! A beautiful, complicated, ornate, generations-old box! A prison out of which He cannot break, to be free to move and work miracles in our lives, because we choose, with the supreme right of our agency, to limit Him. To keep Him narrowly defined, confined to the role our own imaginations, our own understandings, assign. We do not do as Paul declared we could, and approach boldly the throne of grace, but view it from afar, as we would a monument, or a curiosity in a museum, too special for the use of the everyday saint, too reserved for those better and more spiritual than we are. And yet, and yet!, God spoke to Cain after Abel was murdered. God spoke to Alma the Younger as he went about seeking to destroy the church. God spoke to Saul as he traveled to where he would seek to kill more Christians. God spoke to Jonah, as he sulked in the desert because Ninevah repented. Our God will welcome your approach, no matter how unworthy you think you are. We're ALL unworthy creatures! That's why He did what He did, and gave us everything. So He could welcome us, whenever and wherever we sought Him, because He won the power to cleanse and forgive us. 

Jesus Christ IS the King of Kings! He is the Lord of Heaven's Armies, God of All Creation. He is the Living God, able to do all things! He is the God of Israel, who fought their battles, healed their sick, raised the dead, and then told His disciples that those who believed in Him would do greater things than that!

He introduced Himself to Abraham as the God of All Supply, El Shaddai. And He will provide for His own . . . and not stingily. He is Jehovah Rafa, Our God Who Heals . . . and He heals everywhere He goes. It is a product of proximity to Him.

But most of all, He is my friend. He said, in John 15:15: "Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you." He has talked me through so many things, taught me profoundly beautiful things, chuckled at my mortal impatience and chided me in good humor until I could laugh at myself and try again. He has shared some of His secrets with me, given me beautiful dreams, taught me through His Spirit, and healed me of so many things that I've lost count. He loves to make me laugh, He delights in my efforts to master and learn to use the bewilderingly powerful personality He gave me, and in the joyful exercise of my intellectual and physical being. The more I learn of His perfection, the more I come to understand His love and affection for me, the more clearly I see my own frail mortality, and the more deeply humbled I am that He loved me so much that He gave everything--everything--that I could have peace and hope and joy and LIFE through Him.

Lord, I'm so amazed at Who You Are, and all You have done for Your children....for me. Won't You please reach out and touch the heart of every last person on this earth, Lord, so they might know--have first-hand, experiential knowledge--of what the Love of God really means? That each one can feel, in that impossible paradox, both their own insignificance in comparison to You and the immeasurable worth that Your devotion to them gives? Lord, show them  why You did what You did. Let them have a glimpse of Your goodness and Your absolute trustworthiness. Change for the best the way they see You, and everything else. Touch their eyes, Lord. Touch their hearts. Intercede for them, and open their understandings. Cast fear far from them, and fill the space that's left with Your Presence. Show them the easiness of the way, the lightness of Your burden, the simpleness of a walk with You. Show them they do not have to labor through this life in their own strength, dragging their load alone--but that You will take up the other side of the yoke and make all things possible as they believe in You! Please, Lord. This is my prayer. 

I know all of this sounds high-flying and optimistic, too good to be true, and that believing it all would just set you up for disappointment. I used to think so, too. 

But I was wrong. 

All of those amazing things in scripture? They're true!!! All of the promises God lays out for those who follow Him? He is bound to fulfill them when we do what He says! All of those signs and wonders that blessed so many during His ministry, and the ministry of others? They still happen, and they can happen to you if you truly believe, nothing doubting, nothing fearing. 

Our God is Good. You can trust Him.  

If He wasn't worthy of total and complete, throw-yourself-from-a-cliff-if-He-told-you-to trust, then He wouldn't be God, because He would be capable of betraying trust. And betraying trust is most definitely not part of the perfection of God. He is a God of truth, and cannot lie. 

You can trust in God. 

Try it.

The Light and the Dark

One of the bloggers I love reading wrote the following:

I also learned that whenever and wherever the Lord or His angels appear, the adversary and his minions are likewise permitted to tarry (either to precede or to follow). There must be opposition in all things! (2 Nephi 2:15-16.) The faith that allows one to pierce the veil of heaven also permits the adversary to make his subtle appeals and present his perverse proposals. (Matthew 4:1.) One who sees God is also given to gape into the very jaws of hell. (Doctrine & Covenants 76:44-48.) There is no light without darkness. (Moses 2:4.)

That last phrase stuck in my mind, as passages of scripture have at other times, and I kept turning it over and over, until I realized that it was inverted. Light is not dependent on darkness for its existence. Light is more powerful than darkness. As a good friend is known to say, "When you walk into a dark room and flip the light switch, the darkness doesn't get to argue."

Light exists without darkness, because light is a positive, active, living force. Darkness is the absence of light. It is what exists when something blocks light, when something stands before it.

So, in my own mind, that last phrase reads thusly:

"There is no darkness without light."