Now I know better

“For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous (those who are upright and in right standing with God), and His ears are attentive to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who practice evil [to oppose them, to frustrate, and defeat them]. [Ps. 34:12-16.]”

1 Peter 3:12 AMP

I actually have come to love this passage, not because of the way I used to see it, but the way God has revealed it to me.

I used to think this meant that God would actively punish us, that He would refuse to answer "the wicked" when we cried out to Him. But now, I know better. 

Now I know that our God is the one who never turns away, never stops calling out to us, never ceases to work every good thing He possibly can in our lives. When we choose "wickedness", we turn ourselves so we are no longer facing Him. Our ears become dull to His voice, our hearts hard against the softness of His love and persuasion.

Father, thank you for being good. For being consistent, and for being the SAME at all times. Thank you for the multitude of blessings you pour out always, and I pray you would teach me how to open my eyes so I can see more and more. I'm Jesus' name, amen.

Living Stones

“Come to Him [then, to that] Living Stone which men tried and threw away, but which is chosen [and] precious in God's sight. [Ps. 118:22; Isa. 28:16.] [Come] and, like living stones, be yourselves built [into] a spiritual house, for a holy (dedicated, consecrated) priesthood, to offer up [those] spiritual sacrifices [that are] acceptable and pleasing to God through Jesus Christ. For thus it stands in Scripture: Behold, I am laying in Zion a chosen (honored), precious chief Cornerstone, and he who believes in Him [who adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Him] shall never be disappointed or put to shame. [Isa. 28:16.] To you then who believe (who adhere to, trust in, and rely on Him) is the preciousness; but for those who disbelieve [it is true], The [very] Stone which the builders rejected has become the main Cornerstone, [Ps. 118:22.] And, A Stone that will cause stumbling and a Rock that will give [men] offense; they stumble because they disobey and disbelieve [God's] Word, as those [who reject Him] were destined (appointed) to do. But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation, [God's] own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. [Exod. 19:5, 6.] Once you were not a people [at all], but now you are God's people; once you were unpitied, but now you are pitied and have received mercy. [Hos. 2:23.]”

1 Peter 2:4-10 AMP

When we believe Jesus Christ, we become citizens of His nation, integral components in His community. There is no "going it alone" in Christ Jesus. God's ENTIRE focus is to draw all flesh unto himself. . . which means all who allow themselves to be so drawn will end up in the same place.

He did all he did so he could reclaim community and fellowship with us. He came to show us who his Father truly is, and to draw all of us back into his presence. To heal the  relationship broken by the Fall, restoring the fellowship between God and man that was in the beginning. 

Father God, thank you for loving us so completely, so perfectly. I glorify your name for who you are, for your perfect nature. Thank you for sending Jesus to show us who you are, and how to know you. Thank you for allowing him to come and love us. Fill your people today, God, and let them find you around every corner in their hearts. Reveal your nature to them, God, the perfection of love and truth that is the key which unlocks the reality of you in their lives. Thank you for always being about this work, and for allowing me to see you move in the lives and hearts of others. I praise you for the way you save souls, for the relentless way you so tenderly love, and for the way you partner with those who love you too do this work. Woo your people, Lord. It is so beautiful to me. In Jesus name, amen.

Prayer of Liberation

Oh, God. Reach those who confess your name. Touch their hearts with the wonder that is in you, with the love that turns fleshly wisdom on its head and makes of us citizens of Heaven. Woo your people, Lord. Show them what you meant when you said you are the Bridegroom and we are the bride. Find every one of us who claims to know you, who claims to carry your name, and make us yours, indeed! To all those who say they carry you in their hearts, go and make your home in them! To all those who say they seek to be filled with your spirit, fill them! Reveal yourself to them, Jesus, and show them who you really and truly are: 

* Yahweh - I AM 

* Yahweh Meqaddishkem - God Is Holy

* Yahweh Nissi - God Is Truth 

* Yahweh Yireh - Gracious Provider

* Yahweh Sabaoth - Watchful Defender 

* Adonai - Loving Master

* Elohim - All-Powerful 

* El Shaddai - All-Sufficient

* El Roi - All-Knowing, Ever-Present Help

* El Elyon - Supreme Sovereign

* El Olam - Unchanging and Eternal

Thank you, Jesus, for who you ARE. Show your people, those who confess your name, who you are. Oh, please. Amen.

Thieves and Treasure

(Journal entry from November 17, 2013)

Last night, I dreamed a dream.

After enduring a great deal of strangeness at a professional conference of some kind and difficulty with platform stiletto heels that could change from purple to gold (the gold looked so much better with my outfit--the strength of relief over that strange detail is so funny to me), I found myself walking up a short hill onto a lawn, coming upon a group of people witnessing a house break-in. Mostly women and a couple of men, one of which I remember clearly as the homeowner, they seemed excited and curious to see the thieves come out of the house and escape; the feeling was of being in a movie theater on opening night. There was a little fear in the group, kind of like faint background noise. And then, the thieves appeared. They had gone through the semi-rural home, gathering every weapon they could find (which were many). When the group I was in realized how well-armed the thieves were, and their clear intent to kill every one of us brutally before leaving the house they now were stripping of everything they saw valuable to their work, we all looked at one another, desperately checking our pockets and searching our minds for something we could use as a weapon. Anything. Several of the group had concealed carry permits, but not a single one of them was actually armed. Lambs to the slaughter, indeed.

The thieves went in and out of the house (not sure why we didn't/couldn't run away--we were absolutely trapped, even though we stood in the front yard, nearly as close to the paved street as we were to the house), and I watched one of them fill a magazine in a smiling, leisurely way, knowing full well he planned the ammunition he lovingly pressed into place for each of us on the lawn. The thieves even had some of us helping them, although I don't remember how. They kept coming and going, sometimes out of the house, sometimes all inside, so confident were they in our captivity.

Suddenly a pickup appeared, driven by a slender blue-eyed teen, a person unknown to me in my waking hours who, in the dream, I recognized as a relative of some friends of my daughters, the sunlight streaming hazily through the dusty rear window around and over her shortish, wispy blonde hair. She had one of my daughters' friends with her, and they got out and headed our way, excited to catch up with me and my girls (whom I hadn't yet seen in the dream, but they had been right there with me). The thieves were all inside; I didn't know for how long. I rushed up to her and grabbed her upper arms, speaking low and urgent through gritted teeth: "Annie, you've got to get them out of here! RIGHT. NOW. Take the girls, and get the hell out of here!" Shocked and terrified by the knowledge of the thieves' promise in my eyes, she instantly rushed her cousin, my girls, and the few other children who were there into the pickup as relief washed over me at her unquestioning, instant action. The door slammed heavily with that particular, metallic sound of mid-70's steel construction, sheltering the children's fragility. Then blue-white smoke rose from beneath her tires as the baby blue Chevy squealed away.

The innocent were safe.

The smoke rose and wisped away on the Chevy's backdraft. And I turned back to the house, the cedar siding and green shingles sheltering such menace.

I stood there, wondering what on earth we were going to do to save our lives. Those thieves wanted their treasure. They were going to take it. And they were absolutely going to kill all of us to do it. And smile.

Then it hit me. We could give it to them.

Turn their thievery inside out, releasing them from the horrific path to get what they wanted. What they were loading up to take away were things all of us in that group treasured in our hearts as necessary for safety and provision. Things. Stuff. Mostly firearms and ammunition, but other things,

too. The idea of giving them up, even for our lives, would be a hard sell to the fiercely independent group of northern folk. But I knew, knew, that giving--letting go completely--was the answer.

I called out to everyone where we milled slowly about on the lawn, and gathered them around me. I knew we all had to agree--for, despite the horror of it, the thieves were going to kill all of us. We all witnessed their crime. And to set us free it would take agreement from all of us that what they took was freely given by the homeowner. Their theft had to be turned into a gift. A gift without reservation, without grudge, without holding anything back. A carte blanche to take whatever they wanted from the house, and depart in peace.

I stood there, the others gathered and watching, and I opened my mouth to speak . . .

From Psalm 119

“The earth, O Lord, is full of Your mercy and loving-kindness; teach me Your statutes. You have dealt well with Your servant, O Lord, according to Your promise. Teach me good judgment, wise and right discernment, and knowledge, for I have believed (trusted, relied on, and clung to) Your commandments.

You are good and kind and do good; teach me Your statutes.

The law from Your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces. Your hands have made me, cunningly fashioned and established me; give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments.

Let, I pray You, Your merciful kindness and steadfast love be for my comfort, according to Your promise to Your servant. Let Your tender mercy and loving-kindness come to me that I may live, for Your law is my delight!

Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven [stands firm as the heavens]. [Ps. 89:2; Matt. 24:34, 35; I Pet. 1:25.] Your faithfulness is from generation to generation; You have established the earth, and it stands fast. All [the whole universe] are Your servants; therefore they continue this day according to Your ordinances. [Jer. 33:25.] Unless Your law had been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget Your precepts, [how can I?] for it is by them You have quickened me (granted me life). I am Yours, therefore save me [Your own]; for I have sought (inquired of and for) Your precepts and required them [as my urgent need]. [Ps. 42:1.]

I have seen that everything [human] has its limits and end [no matter how extensive, noble, and excellent]; but Your commandment is exceedingly broad and extends without limits [into eternity]. [Rom. 3:10-19.] Oh, how love I Your law! It is my meditation all the day. [Ps. 1:2.] You, through Your commandments, make me wiser than my enemies, for [Your words] are ever before me.

How sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! [Ps. 19:10; Prov. 8:11.]

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. [Prov. 6:23.]

Accept, I beseech You, the freewill offerings of my mouth, O Lord, and teach me Your ordinances. [Hos. 14:2; Heb. 13:15.]

Your testimonies have I taken as a heritage forever, for they are the rejoicing of my heart. [Deut. 33:4.]

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word. [Ps. 32:7; 91:1.]

The entrance and unfolding of Your words give light; their unfolding gives understanding (discernment and comprehension) to the simple.

Establish my steps and direct them by [means of] Your word; let not any iniquity have dominion over me.

Streams of water run down my eyes, because men do not keep Your law [they hear it not, nor receive it, love it, or obey it].

Your word is very pure (tried and well refined); therefore Your servant loves it. I am small (insignificant) and despised, but I do not forget Your precepts. Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and Your law is truth. [Ps. 19:9; John 17:17.]

Your righteous testimonies are everlasting and Your decrees are binding to eternity; give me understanding and I shall live [give me discernment and comprehension and I shall not die].

The sum of Your word is truth [the total of the full meaning of all Your individual precepts]; and every one of Your righteous decrees endures forever.

I rejoice at Your word as one who finds great spoil.

My lips shall pour forth praise [with thanksgiving and renewed trust] when You teach me Your statutes. My tongue shall sing [praise for the fulfillment] of Your word, for all Your commandments are righteous.

I have longed for Your salvation, O Lord, and Your law is my delight. Let me live that I may praise You, and let Your decrees help me.”

 

{Selected verses from Psalm 119 AMP}

http://bible.com/8/psa.119.64-66,68,72-73,76-77,89-94,96-98,103,105,108,111,114,130,133,136,140-142,144,160,162,171-172,174-175.amp

Ask without Fear

Often, when I'm working through doctrinal things, I wonder whether I'm crossing a line, questioning things I shouldn't. And then I think over the last few years, how I questioned the things that I had always thought were unquestionable, things that I had had programmed into me as inviolable and absolutely necessary for salvation.

So far, questioning things in the boldest manner possible had only garnered one--and I mean ONE--response from heaven:

Total, compete, unrestrained, supportive, loving JOY in the courts of Heaven.

So far, every time I have asked questions others think I shouldn't, whether Mormon or Christian, Jesus is so pleased. Every time I wonder and explore ideas and various ways of looking at things, my God sits down with me and is fully supportive as I wrestle through it with Him. 

He IS Emmanuel--God with ME. 

He knows my heart and knows that I ask and wrestle and dialogue with Him and my faith family and His word because I want to know His nature and character and build relationship--build an association--with Him and with Heaven. I ask questions to ferret out any and all broken thinking still left in me. I ask questions to know Him more, and better, so I can walk more like Him as He changes me.

I'm so hungry for the sweet light of Jesus to fill every part of me. I've tasted it, and I can never get enough, never stop desiring to be closer to Him. Not ever. I will seek and knock and ask and press deeper into the infinite that is our God, full of the confidence that I do so as His invited beloved who will be received with every good thing carefully prepared for me.

Don't be afraid to ask. Don't be afraid to approach the throne of grace as boldly as a toddler approaches a parent with a need. Don't be afraid to explore ideas and find out if they're part of Jesus, who IS the truth.

Acceptance: The Miracle of the Blood of Jesus

I'm perfectly comfortable talking up the space I inhabit, owning the breath I breathe, and choosing each step I take. Those sound like a "well, duh" punch list, but lemme tell ya: I most definitely didn't feel that way before. I always felt like too much, too strong, too passionate, too too TOO everything. And because of that, I was never good enough, because my very nature was not acceptable.

The revelation that Jesus derives TREMENDOUS JOY in my existence, that He paid for all of my mistakes and garbage so He could walk through this life with me in all of the glorious and heart-wrenching mess He ALREADY KNEW I would make, was a revelation of profound love and acceptance beyond my command of language to express.

As far as Jesus is concerned, I am not too much, I am never not enough, and I will praise Him forevermore for that miracle, made true by the power of His precious blood.

Believe Him

Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Moses had one big thing in common: faith. They believed the word of the Lord. Completely. They didn't have the scriptures we do now. But they believed God, heard his voice, and loved him.

Jesus did what he did for one reason, and one reason alone: LOVE.

He loves us! Unimaginably so!

And he wanted to be present with us so desperately that he came, lived, suffered, died, and rose again so he could continue to claim the right to forgive, to comfort, to heal, and to SAVE.

To start, he asks that we believe. Only that we believe. That we believe his word above all else. We don't have to earn his love or presence. We don't have to be worthy of him. He paid the price, with his priceless blood, to make us worthy. To cover our sin with his mercy, to forgive our debt. All so we could receive the feast set before us in the presence of our enemies, so we could sit at his table and be filled and satisfied by our extravagant, generous, lavishly-loving God. It is receiving this untold bounty that changes us, that sets us free and heals us deeply, so we can walk out the work he so desperately needs us to do.

In the Hebrew culture, your actions reveal what you believe. If you say one thing and do another, what you did demonstrated the truth of the matter. It is Greek thought/philosophy that divorces belief from action. (And mind from heart, for that matter.) When Jesus said we only had to believe him, he wasn't talking about lip service. It was a radical invitation to walk by faith--to allow living out his word to transform us into the image of God.

Our God never ceases to amaze me.

The Mercy and Glory of God

This morning I'm feeling pretty humble. Not because of any effort on my part--but because I fell flat on my face last night in the patience department. Hard. And this morning, when my habits and history demand I beat myself up hard and long, I heard this song:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit who are torn apart

Blessed are the persecuted and the pure in heart

Blessed are the people hungry for another start

For this is the Kingdom

The Kingdom of God"

~Matt Maher, "All the People Said Amen"

This morning, I definitely feel poor in spirit and on the torn up side. Persecuted? By the enemy of my soul, yes. He definitely got some good digs in. Pure in heart? Yes, I claim that, because Jesus lives in my heart, and that's all I want. Even when I wrestle with my flesh, with the weakness and fatigue of my physical body, and lose. He doesn't leave me when I fail. He's there with unchanging faithfulness, sticking closer than a brother, the bridegroom of my soul for better or for worse. I'm amazed, again, by the miracle of His love, the beauty of His will, by the way He does things. This morning I am so hungry for another start--and just as Jesus told His disciples that our Father knows what we need before we even ask, I have seen steady and faithful evidence that my Father has already provided another start for me: in the person and sacrifice of Jesus.

And this brings us to the verse of the day. Let's go fire up Qwerty . . . :oP

“The result of humility is fear of the Lord, along with wealth, honor, and life.” ~Proverbs 22:4 HCSB

Reading this verse after hearing the Matt Maher song this morning is physically tangible comfort to me. I want to fear the Lord more and more every day, giving His word more weight in my heart. I want to give Him primacy in my life, total and complete. And the fact that this place of humility bears the fruit of that longing is a comfort so new and miraculous to me; a steady and solid support to rely on as I reorient and get my feet under me yet again. This is the profoundly beautiful mercy of our God: that our failings put his glory and love on display.

Papa God, I love you. I'm so amazed by you. Thank you for this comfort--this comfort that is so new and so unfailing. Thank you for staying close to me in times like these, for making a way that I can be close to you as I struggle. Thank you, Jesus, for what you have done. I will never cease to be amazed at the love and humility your work required, and the paradigm-exploding truth you hold out to me: that you *are* the Truth of all things. Bless my family, God. Draw us further into you, into who you are, into your way of living and loving. Let us see your way of seeing things, let us understand with your heart and love with your love, in Jesus' name, amen.

God is my refuge and defense.

"You are my shelter and my shield; I put my hope in Your word." ~Psalm 119:114 HCSB

The Hebrew words in this verse are intriguing. The word shelter also carries the connotation of refuge. And the word for shield specifically refers to a buckler: a round shield, 18" or less in diameter, that's used in hand-to-hand combat. It's pretty lousy against archers, but a real strength against swords and other close-range weaponry.

God truly is our refuge, our hiding place. And when we need protection in our interactions, He provides an agile and effective guard against the blows of the enemy.

Thank you, God, for the sheltering nature of your love and fatherhood. Thank you so much for equipping me with the things I need, and for the continuous process of learning how to use the tools you have given. Thank you for a community that loves me and is willing to be patient as I learn to walk more and more in who you created me to be, in Jesus' name, amen.