Come unto Him. Oh, please.

Oh, my friends. My heart is breaking right now.

I keep seeing people I love, so dearly, that I know Jesus loves so dearly, people with repentant hearts and souls longing for their God, talking about how they hope, one day, they can know they are acceptable to God. I just want to shout from the rooftops: "Jesus LOVES every one of us! All the way! Nothing held back! Right! Now!"

He died for us while the world lay in sin . . . before most of us were even born. The price fully paid, He announced the work of redemption finished on the cross. All of heaven and earth rejoiced, as we read in Enoch's vision. Enoch went from refusing to be comforted to rejoicing with the seraphs, shouting, "Hallelujah, for the Lamb is slain!!!"

Every one of us is FULLY acceptable to God, right this minute. He has not a single reason to reject us. That's the whole point of everything Jesus did, and the meaning of the scripture that says God is storing up his wrath for the day of judgement. Jesus won so we could have this period of grace. Jesus was God . . . He left the place of perfect love and glory and joy to constrain Himself within mortal--Telestial--flesh, to endure all, to suffer the effects of sin and illness until He bled from every pore resisting sin, and then to die one of the most painful deaths devised. 

For you.

It's the price paid for something that declares the buyer's valuation, its worth in the buyer's eyes. And you, my friend, are worth the innocent, priceless blood of God.

By virtue of the cross, Jesus now has the right to come to each of us (right where we are!), and to walk with us through everything. Instead of having to do a bunch of stuff to make sure we're cleansed of sin and worthy of His presence so we won't be struck dead, His blood pays for all the junk we've got, and gives Him the right and power to remit our debt, forgive our sins, and BE with us, right now. Instead of being like the priests who went into the Holy of Holies wearing bells and with a rope tied to his ankle so if the bells stopped and he didn't yank back when the priests outside yanked on the rope, they could haul the body out without going in and being struck dead, too, our God can fill us with His Spirit, can appear to us, and we are not destroyed.

When Jesus died on the cross, not only did the earth shake, but the veil in the temple in Jerusalem was torn from top to bottom. Rent clean in twain. The priests in the holy place were given a view into the Holy of Holies, and they weren't struck dead. But, instead of realizing what had just happened, they quickly closed the veil up again, shutting off the view of heaven Jesus had just freely given them, going back to business as usual. 

Brothers and Sisters, the veil is TORN! There is no longer separation between man and God. We don't have to be "good enough" or "qualify" for His love, or His presence. We only have to WANT Him, to invite Him.

Can we be exalted in our sins? No. But that doesn't mean that we are cut off from Jesus until we're worthy of exaltation. That's the whole reason Jesus did what He did! He redeemed us from the fall . . . that's right now. We don't have to live subject to sin and death, separated from God.

About a year ago, I spent a lot of energy wondering about why Jesus had to die. I had just been taught by the Holy Spirit and scripture that the test of this life is whether we'll desire good or evil. Each man is rewarded according to his works, according to the desires of his heart (D&C 137). And if so, if Alvin Smith could be found on the right hand of God, if those who had never heard of Jesus were saved so long as their hearts longed for righteousness and they did their best based on what they knew, then why did Jesus have to die? Why did He have to go through all of that incredible pain? Why? Why???

As I labored in that heart cry of "Why???", His answer came. So sweetly, so powerfully. 

"So I could be with you."

God misses us. So much. The Fall took us from His presence, where we were designed to dwell, and all God wants is for us to be with Him again. Jesus' victory means so many things . . . but most of all it means He can come to His people. His name, Emmanuel, means God With Us. And in a day of hardcore idolatry and fertility cults, where every other god was a distant deity, demanding all manner of iniquity as worship, silent and utterly unreachable, here was Jesus Christ. He walked with mankind, sacrificing Himself--even God--so He could succor His people, heal them, walk with them, be in fellowship with them.

Please, oh please. Don't think that there is anything--and I mean ANYTHING--keeping you from God other than your own unbelief. The enemy looooves it when we believe his lies, whether it's the one that says Jesus can't come to you right now as you are, or the one that says you're not good enough. (That second one is especially nasty, because it's true--none of us are "good enough"--but it utterly denies the power of Jesus by virtue of His victory.) Jesus is the God of relentless mercy, all-pervading love, and abounding grace. He LONGS to be with you, right here. Now. He LONGS to pour out His Spirit on you as soon as you open your heart to receive it. Rock Waterman's experience of receiving the baptism of fire is a perfect example. He was seeking it, praying for it. But, ultimately, it came down to this. He said, in a comment on this page: "I had the faith. In fact, I felt that it was about time I allowed myself to REALLY receive the Holy Ghost. So just like that, it happened." He was, simply and truly, open to receive. To "allow" himself to "really receive the Holy Ghost". No works. No earning. Just open.

So please . . . I'm begging you with everything that's in me . . . don't deny our Lord the chance to come to you right now. I'm SO flawed, so weak, so fallible. And yet, He is there whenever I turn to Him. Whenever I raise my voice to worship Him. Whenever I open my mind and heart to Him. Every time. Always. So often when I read the accounts of those who have seen Jesus Christ, it's obvious that they didn't earn that visit. They didn't pay for it. He just came, because they believed He could.

Jesus descended below all things. He can come to you where you are.

Baptism Day

So much JOY.

So much.

Choosing to dig into and adhere to the words of Jesus Christ is the best decision I've ever made.

There is a movement, within the membership of the LDS Church (and increasingly outside of it, as members otherwise in full good standing are excommunicated for "apostasy"), to once again rely on the scriptures as the definitive Word of God. To trust the words of Jesus Christ over anything contradictory spoken by man. Thousands have been baptized according to the Doctrine of Christ, and it's not slowing down, despite heavy-handed disciplinary actions and top-down ordered excommunications by LDS leadership, in direct contradiction to their own press releases and scripture. (There's a whole rat's nest of plausible deniability, due to Area Authority 70's not necessarily being considered "general authorities", but I won't go into that here.)

This is the stone cut out of the mountain without hands . . . all believers, everywhere, seeking God on His terms, and seeking to do His will. It is happening in all denominations, all over the world. The LDS Church is no exception.

Yesterday was an incredible day . . . and I will treat it as the celebratory occasion it was. Hallelujah for Jesus Christ, our Lord, and His wonder, glory, and love for us!

I welcome questions, concerns, and freak-outs . . . once again, this blog is a platform for open discussion, and an earnest and simple offer to seek understanding, instead of take refuge in gossip and hearsay.

Peace be to you Reader, whoever you are, in Jesus' name, so be it.

Journey Forth!

25 As soon as he had finished offering the burnt offering, Jehu said to the guards and to the officers, Go in and slay them; let none escape. And they smote them with the sword; and the guards or runners [before the king] and the officers threw their bodies out and went into the inner dwelling of the house of Baal.
26 They brought out the pillars or obelisks of the house of Baal and burned them.
27 They broke down the pillars of Baal and the house of Baal, and made it [forever unclean] a privy to this day.
28 Thus Jehu rooted Baal out of Israel.
29 But Jehu did not give up the sins of Jeroboam son of Nebat, by which he made Israel to sin, that is, the golden calves at Bethel and Dan.
30 And the Lord said to Jehu, Because you have executed well what is right in My eyes and have done to the house of Ahab as I willed, your sons to the fourth generation shall sit on Israel’s throne. [Fulfilled in II Kings 15:12.]
31 But Jehu paid no attention to walking in the law of the Lord, the God of Israel, with all his heart. He did not quit the sins with which Jeroboam made Israel to sin.
32 [So] in those days the Lord began to cut off parts of Israel.  ~2 Kings 10:25-32 AMP

Jehu, in a blaze of Old Testament fervor, carried out the Lord's word to Elijah, that all of Ahab's house would be destroyed.  He slew grandsons, friends, any who were connected to that house. Then he went and utterly ruined the house of Baal. For this exacting obedience, the Lord had a word for Jehu, in verse 30: the promise that Jehu's sons would be kings of Israel to the fourth generation.

But Jehu stopped short . . . while he pursued with zeal other words God had given, eradicating Ahab's house and ruining Baal's, he didn't give up what was apparently his "favorite" bit of idolatry. I can see him justifying, reasoning that the Golden Calf was worshipped by his fathers in the wilderness while Moses was on the mountain, and that surely something that old had to be good. Or I can see him thinking it was such a small thing, and he had done so much, that surely it was enough to please the Lord.

I'm standing on the edge of something marvelous and beautiful, new and glorious; a faith-filled walk with my God I have only dreamed of.

I'm not going to stop short.

God has opened the way before me, and I am stepping into it.

This is a Jewish story of parting the Red Sea that I really love:

Behind them was an army bristling for war. Before them was an ocean, deep and impassable. They could neither advance nor retreat. They were ambushed. What could they do? 

Moses tried an age-old tactic: he cried out to God. But God rebuked him: “Why do you cry to me? Tell the Children of Israel to journey forth.” 

Journey forth, but how? There was an ocean before them! God never addressed this question, and Moses never asked it. God said to journey forth, and journey they did. That was the entire point. Don’t ask questions. Don’t raise doubts. If God issues a command, He will provide the means to see it through. 

Yet the Children of Israel hesitated. They were prepared to plow into the ocean, but they needed to be led. A leader appeared in the person of Nachshon, son of Aminadav, tribal prince of Judah. Leading his tribal column, Nachshon strode into the sea. Wading through the rising tide, the waters first reached his waist, then his chest and shoulders.
At the very last moment, as the waters reached his nostrils, the Red Sea parted and the Children of Israel followed him into the sea.

How's that for radical obedience? God said, "Go forward!", as the Israelites stood trapped between the sea and mountains. This was deep water, folks. And Israelites were notorious for knowing absolutely nothing about water. I've heard there was a saying, similar to our American proverb, "When pigs fly", that meant, "When a Jew builds a ship". Nachshon led his column straight into something that, culturally, they were wholly unprepared for. Laden for their journey with all the things the Lord had them take out of Egypt, who knows if they could even swim?

And yet, they strode into the sea in radical obedience to what Yahweh had said:

"Journey forth." 

Yes, Lord.

My reading this morning was Matthew 23-24, and I had a really hard time choosing a passage to journal about, because I love these chapters SO much, and could talk about nearly every verse at length. I might just have to study these for several days, and see what Yeshua has waiting for me in them.

Then Jesus said to the multitudes and to His disciples, The scribes and Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat [of authority]. So observe and practice all they tell you; but do not do what they do, for they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy loads, hard to bear, and place them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves will not lift a finger to help bear them. They do all their works to be seen of men; for they make wide their phylacteries (small cases enclosing certain Scripture passages, worn during prayer on the left arm and forehead) and make long their fringes [worn by all male Israelites, according to the command]. And they take pleasure in and [thus] love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues, And to be greeted with honor in the marketplaces and to have people call them rabbi. But you are not to be called rabbi (teacher), for you have one Teacher and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone [in the church] on earth father, for you have one Father, Who is in heaven. And you must not be called masters (leaders), for you have one Master (Leader), the Christ. He who is greatest among you shall be your servant. (Matthew 23:1-11 AMP) 

Jesus gave these instructions, not out of dislike or disdain for the Pharisees, but out of love for those who would follow Him. He set out the guidelines necessary for keeping men’s hearts soft, for allowing all an equal privilege to grow and serve and gain a connection to heaven, and to warn against the all-too attractive pattern of elevating mortals one above another.

When I read this passage this morning, my very fleshly first response was to think of those who followed this same pattern the Pharisees did, who took pride in their office, who usurped power God never gave them, by virtue of it. But then, Holy Spirit (thank God!) whispered to my heart that they are all just people . . . people with earnest intentions and weaknesses of the flesh common to man, who wanted to do what was right, but due to their flesh or the traditions of their fathers or ignorance of the Word or all of the above, fell prey to the very things Yeshua warns against. And I thought how unfair it is to leaders to elevate them in this way, no matter the arena, whether church or government or community or business. To idolize someone is destructive not only to the one doing the idolizing, but to the one idolized. Idolizing puts tremendous pressure on its object . . . they have no room to make mistakes, no opportunity to confess, are denied the flexibility of repentance and growth that comes from walking as the Word says a Christian should walk. That’s so, so unfair. So unjust!

Father, show me, in my heart, where I might harbor idolization for people or things or ideas. Shed Your Spirit upon Your people in abundance, that they can know You better, and love one another without reserve. Teach the Body better how to walk as equals together, esteeming all as brothers and sisters, honoring and loving one another without reserve because we are YOURS, not because one is called “elder”, “pastor”, "pope", or whatever. Let us love and care for one another as if we are ALL pastors—let us all have that same dedication to the Word, to prayer, to worship, to carry that same weight of love for one another. We are one, in You, Lord. Let us open our hearts more and more to You, let us pray more and more to You, and Father God open our eyes to the prophetic, seeing things as You see them, and opening our mouths to speak that perspective into life in our circumstance.

Father, Your people have so much potential! I feel it all around me when the Body gathers. It IS a force to be reckoned with . . . but we don’t quite know how, or we don’t quite trust ourselves enough, to step out into the unknown and let You have Your way. Father God, speak to our hearts the solid assurance, the sweet assurance, that You are ever with us. It is our eyes and hearts and ears that need to learn better to detect Your presence. Our city NEEDS this potential that is brewing amongst us. Our families NEED this joy that is about to be unleashed. This land NEEDS the refreshing in the Holy Spirit that is coming. I keep seeing floodwaters—a flood of the Holy Spirit that rushes in and overwhelms everything in its path. But instead of a destructive force, it gives LIFE, it gives LIBERTY, it gives CLEANSING and RENEWAL. Lord, quiet our hearts, remind us to cast fear out from among us, so we can welcome this flood with open arms and know that if You send waters to cover the earth, You will give us gills. You will equip us with whatever we need—indeed, You already HAVE—to not just survive, but to THRIVE in the circumstances ahead. I don’t know how to describe the weight of glory, the promise of joy, the brilliant shining of what You have planned . . . but I can hardly wait. (If I wasn’t so exquisitely aware of my own weaknesses and failings, I wouldn’t have any patience at all! lol)

Father, show Your people Your heart, yet again. Show us Your patience, Your plans. Open the hearts and minds of those that love you, and draw them to You, God, and let them see. Let all of us see! Let us feel. Let us KNOW You, better and better every moment. Unleash the beauty in each one of us, and let us flood the earth with YOU. In Jesus’ name, so be it! Amen!!!

What Do I Want for Christmas?

I want the starving children fed--in my own little town, among the membership of the LDS church, and throughout the whole world 

I want the orphans, dependent upon the generosity of others, provided for.

I want the exploited rescued, and to have safe places for them to sleep and learn. 

I want the street children in Manilla, abandoned by their destitute parents who simply couldn't feed them, to have the basic things they need: shoes, school supplies, regular meals, combs, toothbrushes, a shower to use, and a safe place to sleep.

My family is operating under a tighter budget than we ever have had to before. We are living in the least square foot per person we have ever lived. And yet, compared to so, so many, even in our own little community, we are wealthy. We have a lovely little home. We have decent beds to sleep in. We have all the first world conveniences we want: cars that run reliably, gas to run them, washer & dryer, dishwasher, heat, air conditioning, electricity, running water, hot water, a roof that doesn't leak, and our floors aren't made of dirt. (Although sometimes during mud season the mats inside the front door might fool you for a minute.)

My children have a family that loves them, and a safe place to grow and learn. Contrast that with the early life of one of my best friends, who was born into prostitution to a sex-trafficked mother, and rescued at eight years old, after her mother's death, by God working an absolute miracle in the Canadian court system.

My children are well-fed, and are in no danger of suffering from the debilitating or deadly effects of malnutrition, unlike 80,000+ active LDS children in the world, and too many in my little town.

My husband and I love one another. Our marriage is strong--strong because we have learned to forgive, and are learning how to grow, both together and alongside one another. 

We definitely have our share of difficulties and trials. We are given weaknesses, after all, that the Lord may show forth His strength in us. But our basic needs are met. The Lord will continue to provide. I just wish we had endless income, so I could feed and clothe and house every cold, hungry, lonely soul.

      11 Wherefore, I must tell you the truth according to the plainness of the word of God. For behold, as I inquired of the Lord, thus came the word unto me, saying: Jacob, get thou up into the temple on the morrow, and declare the word which I shall give thee unto this people.
      12 And now behold, my brethren, this is the word which I declare unto you, that many of you have begun to search for gold, and for silver, and for all manner of precious ores, in the which this land, which is a land of promise unto you and to your seed, doth abound most plentifully.
      13 And the hand of providence hath smiled upon you most pleasingly, that you have obtained many riches . . .
      14 And now, my brethren, do ye suppose that God justifieth you in this thing? Behold, I say unto you, Nay. But he condemneth you, and if ye persist in these things his judgments must speedily come unto you.
      15 O that he would show you that he can pierce you, and with one glance of his eye he can smite you to the dust!
      16 O that he would rid you from this iniquity and abomination. And, O that ye would listen unto the word of his commands, and let not this pride of your hearts destroy your souls!
      17 Think of your brethren like unto yourselves, and be familiar with all and free with your substance, that they may be rich like unto you.
      18 But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God.
      19 And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to do good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted. (Jacob 2)

We don't have riches. But to those who might . . . please consider those who not only don't have riches, but suffer hunger and cold.

      34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
      35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
      36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
      37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
      38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
      39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
      40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:40)

Mercy and Grace

Generally speaking, the acceptance of things as they currently operate in the LDS Church follows a basic premise: "God brought beauty and blessings out of the painful/sad/horrible/difficult/wrong/abusive/sinful thing that happened. Therefore, what happened was His will." That, combined with quotes like this gem from Marion G. Romney, seal the submissive acceptance of whatever does happen:

“I remember years ago when I was a bishop I had President Heber J. Grant talk to our ward. After the meeting I drove him home. … Standing by me, he put his arm over my shoulder and said: ‘My boy, you always keep your eye on the President of the Church and if he ever tells you to do anything, and it is wrong, and you do it, the Lord will bless you for it.”

What this well-intentioned brother is talking about is God's mercy. His mercy is what turns trial into testimony, burden into blessing. In His mercy, Jesus holds back the punishment that justice demands, and blesses us, instead, hoping we will turn to Him in our extremity. Mercy happens, and can only happen, when we justly deserve a whole lot more consequences than we're getting . . . i.e. when we do something wrong, or stupid, and our merciful, loving God finds a way to turn that to benefit His work and to bless us.

Now, mercy is a distinctly different animal from grace. Our own LDS leaders define grace very well, in addition to the link I just provided. The church's website states: "grace is an enabling power".

When someone is gracious, they extend favor to someone who does not deserve it. It is the gracious response of a hostess that ignores the mud tracked onto her pristine floor by the shoes of the farmer's daughter who came to her home in town, or passes it off as nothing when it is noticed. It's the civilized response to another's discomfort, embarrassment, or pain. It is unmerited favor.

God's grace becomes active in our lives when we are following Him. His grace makes us more than we ever could be on our own . . . but it takes faith in Him. True faith, faith unto salvation. It takes us hearing God's word for us when we are turned toward Him, and then accepting that He has already provided all we need, will help us where we are weak, and perform amazing things through us--weak vessels though we may be. It takes us stepping out in faith--sometimes into total darkness, sometimes off a precipice into an abyss--for His Grace to become active in us. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us why:

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."

I'll repeat myself: grace makes more of us than we could ever be on our own. 

We have to venture into territory where we are unequipped--not because we have no talent or ability, but because our mortal nature and intelligence falls short of the task at hand. It takes us trusting God enough to move forward despite Him calling us into areas of our weakness. Our weaknesses are what allow us to even SEE God's strength. In my 35 years of Molly Mormonhood, I felt such deep devotion to God, and would cry regularly as I shared my testimony. And yet, I never let Him fill my weakness. I gave Him no quarter in which to show forth His power, because I did it all myself.

Do we deserve either mercy or grace? Definitely not. Christ's sacrifice and victory give Him the right to extend them to us. The question is, which power do you invite into your life?

Can we grow in situations where God's mercy is alone manifest? Absolutely. Can we learn deep truths, beautiful things, and be changed for the better through His mercy? Absolutely. But can we learn as much through the operation of God's mercy as we could through the operation of His grace? 

No.

Can we rise up as on wings of eagles, be made into new creatures in Christ Jesus through the baptism of fire that precipitates receiving the Holy Ghost, can we prophesy, heal, cast out devils, move mountains, or work any other work of the Lord Jesus Christ through mercy alone? 

No.

That takes faith, which calls down God's grace.

It's nothing special for a group of people to claim blessings have come to them from God. It's no different from any other group of people anywhere--believer or not. He blesses all people, as often and as richly as He can. He makes the rain to fall, the sun to shine, on the evil as well as the good. The wheat and tares grow up together, and He blesses them all with what they need to survive, and even thrive.

But Mormon gave us a key to know when a people have true faith in Jesus Christ:

"[H]as the day of miracles ceased? Or have angels ceased to appear unto the children of men? Or has He withheld the power of the Holy Ghost from them? Or will He, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man upon the face thereof to be saved? Behold I say unto you, Nay; for it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of unbelief, and all is vain. For no man can be saved, according to the words of Christ, save they shall have faith in His name; wherefore, if these things have ceased, then has faith ceased also; and awful is the state of man, for they are as though there had been no redemption made."

Contrast that with what Jesus Himself told His disciples:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father."

Please. Take a look at your life. Are you doing the works that we "see", recorded in scripture, that Jesus did? Are you empowered by His grace, and His Spirit, to do even greater works than He did?

Or are you instead living according to this gem from N. Eldon Tanner?

"When the prophet speaks the debate is over."

Why do we have the Law?

Wherefore then serveth the law? It was added because of transgressions, till the seed should come to whom the promise was made; and it was ordained by angels in the hand of a mediator. ~Galatians 3:19

Today, someone online quoted this scripture, as part of a discussion about how the Law of Moses relates to us today. Here are some other translations that shed more light on the intent of that verse:

NLT:

Why, then, was the law given? It was given alongside the promise to show people their sins. But the law was designed to last only until the coming of the child who was promised. God gave his law through angels to Moses, who was the mediator between God and the people.

Aramaic Bible in plain English:

Why therefore is there The Written Law? It was added because of apostasy until The Seed would come to whom The Promise belonged, and The Written Law was given by Angels in the hand of a mediator.

God's WORD Translation:

What, then, is the purpose of the laws given to Moses? They were added to identify what wrongdoing is. Moses' laws did this until the descendant to whom the promise was given came to Abraham. It was put into effect through angels, using a mediator.

Weymouth New Testament:

Why then was the Law given? It was imposed later on for the sake of defining sin, until the seed should come to whom God had made the promise; and its details were laid down by a mediator with the help of angels.

Taking these additional translations into account, it becomes clear that the Law of Moses was given to teach and instruct.

Gill's Exposition has this to say:

"Wherefore why then serveth the law?".... If this be the case, might an objector say, why was the law given? what ends and purposes are to be served by it? of what use can it be? there had as good been no law at all, if the inheritance is not of it, and there is no justification by it. To which it is answered,
it was added because of transgressions; four hundred and thirty years after the covenant made with Abraham; it did not succeed it, nor take the place of it, and so make it null and void; but was over and above added unto it, for the sake of restraining transgressions; which had there been no law, men would not have been accountable for them; and they would have gone into them without fear, and with impunity; but the law was given, to lay a restraint on men, by forbidding such and such things, on pain of death; and also for the detecting, discovering, and making known transgressions, what they are, their nature and consequences; these the law charges men with, sets them before them, in their true light and proper colours; and convicts them of them, stops their mouths, and pronounces them guilty before God. . . .

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Lehi talked about this to Jacob in 2 Nephi 2:

5 And men are instructed sufficiently that they know good from evil. And the law is given unto men. And by the law no flesh is justified; or, by the law men are cut off. Yea, by the temporal law they were cut off; and also, by the spiritual law they perish from that which is good, and become miserable forever.
 6 Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth.
 7 Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered.
 8 Wherefore, how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth, that they may know that there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah, who layeth down his life according to the flesh, and taketh it again by the power of the Spirit, that he may bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, being the first that should rise.
 9 Wherefore, he is the firstfruits unto God, inasmuch as he shall make intercession for all the children of men; and they that believe in him shall be saved.
 10 And because of the intercession for all, all men come unto God; wherefore, they stand in the presence of him, to be judged of him according to the truth and holiness which is in him. Wherefore, the ends of the law which the Holy One hath given, unto the inflicting of the punishment which is affixed, which punishment that is affixed is in opposition to that of the happiness which is affixed, to answer the ends of the atonement—
 11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.
 12 Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation. Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power, and the mercy, and the justice of God.
 13 And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things must have vanished away.

More from Gill:

"till the seed should come, to whom the promise was made": either Christ the seed of the woman, and of Abraham, who was to come in the flesh, and is come; and to whom the grand promise of life, and all the promises of the covenant were made; not for himself, but for those he represented, and in whom they are all secure: until whose coming to finish transgression, and bring in everlasting righteousness, the law was to continue in the form in which, and the use for which it was added, and then to cease as the ministration of Moses; for through the coming of Christ it received its full accomplishment, and came to an end; the ceremonial law was utterly abolished, and the moral law ceased to be a covenant of works, though it continues a rule of walk and conversation; and the whole Mosaic economy was no more: or else the seed here intends the spiritual seed of Abraham; particularly among the Gentiles, to whom the promise of blessedness, of justification, and eternal life was made; and the sense be, that till such time that a generation of faithful men, of believers in Christ, should arise among the Gentiles, the law was to continue with the Jews; but when they should spring up, the middle wall of partition should be broken down, and Abraham's spiritual seed among Jews and Gentiles make up one body, one people, and be fellow heirs and partakers of the promise of God in Christ, through the Gospel. . .

The key phrase there is "the ceremonial law was utterly abolished, and the moral law ceased to be a covenant of works, though it continues a rule of walk [how we live our lives] and conversation".

Some definitions, before we go on:

• fulfilled: correct interpretation and performance of the commandments given by God. The law is "fulfilled" when it brings about the goal for which it was given, which only happens when people understand it the way God intended, and obey it so it can bear the desired fruit in their lives.
• end: purpose, as in "for this end". That was a common usage in the early 1800's, as well.

Reading through various scriptures that talk about the law being fulfilled is eye opening when read with these definitions in mind. There are too many to all list here, but I'll share a couple.

3 Nephi 1:25:

But it came to pass that they soon became converted, and were convinced of the error which they were in, for it was made known unto them that the law was not yet fulfilled, {not yet properly understood, applied and obeyed} and that it must be fulfilled in every whit; yea, the word came unto them that it must be fulfilled; yea, that one jot or tittle should not pass away till it should all be fulfilled; therefore in this same year were they brought to a knowledge of their error and did confess their faults.

3 Nephi 15:5:

Behold, I am He that gave the law, and I am He who covenanted with my people Israel; therefore, the law in Me is fulfilled {rightly performed so that it accomplishes its purposes}, for I have come to fulfil the law; therefore it hath an end {a purpose}.

And here are two talking about the end, or purpose, of the law:

2 Nephi 11:4:

4 Behold, my soul delighteth in proving unto my people the truth of the coming of Christ; for, for this end hath the law of Moses been given; and all things which have been given of God from the beginning of the world, unto man, are the typifying of him.

And 2 Nephi 25:25:

25 For, for this end was the law given; wherefore the law hath become dead unto us, and we are made alive in Christ because of our faith; yet we keep the law because of the commandments.

The purpose of the law was to teach men what sin IS. To show what God doesn't want people to do, and to set punishments for transgression, and to try to move the Israelites towards loving one another, if by no other way than preventing offenses through stiff punishments.

When Christ came, He was the fulfillment of the law because He lived it, every whit. His life showed the end, or purpose, of the Law, because through His actions, He became Righteousness.

Both the Law and Christ are halves of the same whole . . . one outlining what we shouldn't do, and the Other showing what we should, and the ultimate and ideal outcome that the law was trying to point toward.

Praise: Proclaiming the Obvious

"How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!" Isa 52:7

Why on earth would Zion--those of one heart and one mind, who know the Lord already--need someone to tell her "Thy God reigneth"?

Good question.

Why say the obvious? Why repeat what has been said before in scripture so many times? Why do what is foolish in our culture, but encouraged in scripture?

All throughout scripture, people who definitely "knew better" repeat themselves at key points. (Please forgive me for not quoting them here . . . this post is being eked out in just a few spare moments today. But that gives you a chance to notice these as you study further in all of scripture.) The practice of praise (i.e. telling God what He already knows about Himself, and proclaiming it to others who mostly already know it, too) is a lost art in the LDS tradition. And yet, as I have begun to learn how to praise--how to confess God's glory, strength, majesty, mercy, grace, love, justice, abundant generosity, and a thousand other things--I have been blessed in rich ways. There is power in praise, in speaking into life within your own mind the truth that exists elsewhere, that shifts the spiritual atmosphere and opens our hearts and minds to the glory and mind of God.

So, go ahead and try it sometime. Try telling God what He already knows about Himself, and see what happens to your own heart, your own spirit. And if you have the Holy Spirit with you in power, then watch out . . . you'll feel like you can go on forever, and there are few things as beautiful or sweet to the soul.

Father in Heaven, I glory in You! For You are faithful, always; Your Son leads me through my life, teaches me Your ways, and blesses and protect me as soon as I'm willing to let Him. You work in mysterious ways, that are made plain to those who love and follow You. You are generous and kind, eager to receive us into Your presence. I praise you for Jesus, and His willing sacrifice. Jesus, you are Good, You are Love, You are Light, You are Truth! You bless me beyond all measure and understanding, and You never leave me desolate when I cry out to You. You are the God who heals, the God of Restoration, the Finder of all that is Lost, the God of All Supply. You are my hope, my strength, my joy, my forgiveness. You are Mercy, You are Joy, and You are Mine, as I am Yours. I love you, Jesus, and I love you, Father in Heaven. In Jesus' beloved name, amen!

Resisting in humility.

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ~James 4:7 NLT

I've always wondered how this works . . . resisting while humbling yourself.

Today, I began to understand.

Humility = giving your will to Jesus. Acts of humility take tremendous strength in both spirit and character.

Resisting the devil = Being who God tells you to be, and believing what God says, no matter what the devil does or says, how he tries to scare or dissuade you. Jesus resisted the devil on the mount after his 40 day fast. He didn't contend with him, but did not give in either.

Lord, I desire nothing more in this life than to know You better. I trust You. I believe what You have said. I believe what You have said about me, and who I am. You are Truth. You are faithful. You are beautiful to me, and I love Your grace, Your mercy, Your love, and Your sense of humor. :o) I love You, Lord of mine. Please show me what You want me to do next, how You want me to pray, whom You would have me pray for, how You would have me speak, and the choices You would have me make. I long to walk with You in my everyday, praise You in every circumstance. In Jesus' name, amen.

Learning Wisdom

"Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." ~Proverbs 1:7 NLT

In reading this morning, I began at Proverbs 1:1 and read that verse. Then I couldn't get very much farther on without my eyes returning, almost of their own accord, to it. I didn't really grasp what it meant . . . so it surprised me that it stood out to me that much. I'd read down the column a bit, and my eyes would search back up to find and read that one over again. And again. Some questions came to my mind:

• How can I be wise?
• What is fear of the Lord?

I tried a few different translations to see if that would open that verse to my understanding. The Amplified version was the best:

"The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning and the principal and choice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]; but fools despise skillful and godly Wisdom, instruction and discipline." ~Proverbs 1:7, AMP

Revering and worshiping the Lord God of Hosts really is the beginning of godly Wisdom. If you don't accept the Lord for Who He Is, you cannot receive the full blessing of what He offers.

"He who receives and welcomes and accepts a prophet because he is a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward, and he who receives and welcomes and accepts a righteous man because he is a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward." ~Matthew 10:41 AMP

When we honor God for who He is, and value the Wisdom He teaches us, we can receive the reward that comes from the true value of what we learn, and from our relationship with Him, from accepting God for Who He Is.

So, if reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning of godly Wisdom, what comes next?

"If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I [Wisdom] will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you." ~Proverbs 1:23 AMP

As we position ourselves to revere and worship God as we should, we can't help but have repentant hearts, turning to Him. And what comes next is wonderful: an outpouring of the spirit of Wisdom and understanding. I could really use more of that in my life . . . how 'bout you? ;o)

In Proverbs 2, we get a step-by-step tutorial on how to understand what comes next:

1. Receive words of wisdom and treasure up prophetic instruction. (2:1)
2. Listen for, ponder and meditate on them. (2:2)
3. Pray for insight and understanding. (2:3)
4. Seek for it as you would a precious treasure. (2:4)

And here's the result:

"Then you will understand the reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of [our omniscient] God." ~Proverbs 2:5

 Boom. I love it when God lays things out so simply for me.

As I walk out the things I have come to understand, the second half of verse seven comes into play:

"He is a shield to those who walk uprightly and in integrity, that He may guard the paths of justice; yes, He preserves the way of His saints." ~Proverbs 2:7

I learned, the hard way, over the last week, what it's like to fear mortals more than God. To walk outside of the guarded path, without the Lord's shielding. In my case, it was denying very clear promptings because I didn't want to cause discomfort to others. As a result, I wandered spiritually all week. I walked without the presence of God's Spirit in power, struggled with depression and all the old demons, and my family had a less than stellar week. Sunday was the worst, when I ignored two more (very clear) instructions on how God wanted me to use my time that day. That cost me sore repentance, and finally brought me down in humility, once again confessing the wisdom and love Jesus Christ has for me, if I'll but stay turned to Him and follow.

Walking without Jesus is a crushing weight. I don't ever want to do it.

It's simple craziness to ignore what He tells me, even when it doesn't seem that important, and expect to have the same deep connection as when I am walking in His will for me. One of the instructions I ignored I was able to fulfill last night . . . and it was such a sweet blessing. All of the concerns I had were totally unfounded. (Whaddya know? God knew what He was talking about! {facepalm}) As for the others, I know my Lord will give me more opportunities to obey Him. He wants to be close to me, and that requires offering me opportunities to obey Him, so I can get to know Him better, learning His ways.

I'm so. glad. He loves me so much, that when I come to Him He does not upbraid, doesn't get on my case or send me on a guilt trip. Universally, the response I receive when I've turned to Him anew after following my own will: "Oh, Annalea. I'm so glad." It's filled with love for me, and awash with a deep relief that the suffering I put myself through is over . . . even if only for a short time, until I stumble again. My goal is to continually shorten the length of that period between stumbling and returning.

Lord, I'm so grateful this morning for Your love. Your steady, patient, unfailing and overwhelming love that heals and entreats, persuades and teaches. I'm so grateful for your infinite nature that means You can lavish me with love and a fullness of Your attention in my linear, earthly existence, as if I'm Your only and most favorite daughter . . . just as You do for every other one of Your children. Thank you for the innumerable chances You've given me. Thank You for Your mercy that still offers Your sustaining love in my foolishness, and for Your amazing grace that empowers me to become more than my flesh would ever permit. I'm beginning anew, Lord. Keep leading me, please. And show me how to better accept Your grace so I can glorify Your name more, bringing more joy to You and into the life of those I love most of all. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus' name, amen.

Loving God, with ALL.

"Listen, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength."~Deuteronomy 6:4, 5 NLT

I have always thought this verse was a command because it was a "for our own good" kind of thing. Of course we should love God with our everything we've got; it all came from Him, right? That's how He loves us after all, and it only makes sense, etc. 

This morning, a new way to look at it was whispered into my soul as this verse came into my mind:

"For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God." ~Deuteronomy 4:24 NKJV

I thought of the many astounding encounters I've had with the presence of The Lord, and how, despite the incredible love and light and forgiveness, the sheer weight of glory is physically hard to bear because of the weakness of my flesh. It takes tremendous effort to really receive His Spirit in power, let alone The Lord Himself.

". . . God is love." ~I John 4:8 NKJV

God urges us to love Him with all our heart, soul & strength because that's what it takes to get anything but the tiniest of tastes of Who He Is. He wants to immerse us in His overwhelming transformative power. A light brush with The Lord of Hosts, one that we can control, is not enough. It takes true surrender, world-rocking experiences with His love and presence, to enable us to receive and walk out the glorious plans and callings our beloved Jesus has for us. 

I'll be meditating on what it can mean in my life to love Jesus with all my heart, soul & strength. I'm excited to see what He has to teach me about it. (I think it's far more all-encompassing than I have ever thought . . .)

Lord, I'm so deeply happy to know You, even as physically weak as I am now. Thank You for the way You keep teaching me, one perfectly-sized increment at a time, because each taste is so sweet to my soul. Each piece renews my mind and changes my course to bring me into more alignment with You! I rejoice in Your goodness, Your mercy, Your strength, for You are faithful, God of mine, and I trust You. :-) Totally. I know You will lead me as I follow, so I ask You to teach me more, Lord. Fill me up as I turn to You today, and show me how to love You in all I do. Reveal to me the worship possible in my every moment, so I can pray without ceasing, lifting You up with every breath, in Jesus' name, Amen!

Oh, how He loves us.

A while back, I was thinking about this life, and the untold billions who never knew Christ. As I mused on how on earth they would ever receive a fair chance at salvation, I was reminded of Joseph's vision of the Father & Son, where Alvin was with them. Alvin had no Melchizedek priesthood leader, no ordinances. Yet he was with the Father & Son after his death, and Joseph was given to know he received exaltation. This life is, as father Lehi says to his son Jacob in 2 Nephi 2:27:

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and call things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself."

It's to see what we desire in our hearts, and what we do about those desires. As I kept on meditating on this, God told me so clearly and simply that this life would still be an absolutely fair test, with the same potential for exaltation, without ANY interaction from God, whatsoever. Without the church. Without interaction from Christ. Just our consciences to guide us. (He still had to triumph over sin & death so He could pay our debt to justice, but that could have happened quietly, without prophecy and without a following.)

That idea came so cleanly, so clearly, so quietly and simply into my heart. I asked, "Then why, God? Why all of the effort and failure and heartache to work so much with your children? When you know so many will take what You give them and transform it into bludgeons to use on one another, especially the downtrodden and weak? Why go to all the effort?" His answer was so typical of Him, and so all-encompassing:

"Because I love you."

The true test is in our hearts--whether we are Mormon or Muslim, Jew or Gentile, American or Aborigine. Our life circumstance doesn't matter a single bit. Our access to "saving ordinances", et al, as members of the LDS church only provides a different arena in which to act out the desires of our hearts. I haven't yet pondered on why it is that some are blessed so richly (like my husband and myself), born to families that are pretty darn good, raised with sufficient food, clothing & shelter, without serious abuse from those that are supposed to love us, and then grow into adults who try to keep God's commandments and are blessed with so much safety as a result. But the answer I got that afternoon was astounding to me: God goes to all of this effort, all of this heartache, all of this rejection because He loves us, and He can't NOT do it.

God  ROCKS  my world. :oD

Pushing Back the Dark

". . . for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world." ~Alma 34:34

SOME kind of spirit possesses us all the time. 

ALL.  Not a single second left out. 

When we don't live up to the law we know, we fall under the power of the adversary. Unlike God, he seizes as much control as he can wrest from us. he is ravenous for power, claiming authority over others whenever he can seize it. he's the ultimate lawyer, working to win on technicalities . . . which he can do because the tradition of our fathers teaches those technicalities are right/normal/expected, or worst of all: according to the law of heaven.

"A man is saved no faster than he gets knowledge, for if he does not get knowledge, he will be brought into captivity by some evil power in the other world, as evil spirits will have more knowledge, and consequently more power than many men who are on the earth. Hence it needs revelation to assist us, and give us knowledge of the things of God." ~Joseph Smith, from History of the Church, 5:588.

During our Testimony meeting yesterday, there was testimony was full of the passive, empty declarations of salvation through works, implying that Jesus is separated & distanced from us, with His salvation (only & finally) coming into play at the judgement bar, after we've suffered all kinds of things at His hands. As I heard it, the fire of my own testimony burned bright in my heart . . . that Jesus is HERE, with us NOW. That we exist, and He won, so we might have JOY! That He walks with us, and our lives can be filled to overflowing with miracles and the joy and righteousness of His glory. Did I mention that's all right now? Right this minute? No enduring to the end first? That's God's astounding grace! :o)

One of my BFFs said yesterday evening how, when we walk into a dark room and flip the light switch, we don't hear the dark arguing that it gets to stay. ;o) Where light IS, darkness CANNOT be. Now, that principle gets interesting because we own our minds & hearts. Agency is the name of the game. When we have unbelief in our minds & hearts, we choose darkness over light. True testimonies & teaching might supply electricity to the switch, others can even open a door into the room so we can see light through the doorway . . . but we have to flip the switch to accept the light as our own. Heck, so many don't even realize there IS a switch, accepting their gloomy bondage under the abominable idea that God keeps them in the dark for their own good, because God manages to still teach them some good things, to manifest some of His absolute goodness, as they labor in their darkness.

In the areas where we deal with spiritual bondage, familiar spirits will fiercely defend their territory, struggling to keep that spiritual darkness, those veils of unbelief, just as they are. About a year ago, a good friend prayed for me. She prayed for protection against some things, including the spirit of confusion. While I felt the Holy Ghost in strength throughout most of her prayer, when she prayed against the spirit of confusion, I felt the Holy Ghost's power withdraw. In my understanding, God didn't want me to be free of a spirit of confusion, because He withdrew His approval when she prayed for that. And I was confused by that idea.

After the prayer I told her that I'd felt the Spirit leave at that one point, and she responded in a way I'd never seen before: "Okay," she said, smiling, "the spirit of confusion, huh? Let's pray about that." She then prayed against that spirit, and I realized I had been totally mistaken. God wasn't disapproving of my freedom from that spirit--I had given that spirit dominion in my life by submitting to it in the past. As she prayed further, I felt my near-constant depression lifting. I began praying silently in total agreement, and we kept it up until I knew (through my feelings and what God showed me in the spirit) that it was gone. As she began that prayer, I had felt the same lack of the Holy Spirit . . . but as we prayed for several more minutes, God's love came back as the spirit of confusion was cast out. (The fact that I had felt confused by an idea that I thought was from God was a HUGE red flag. He is not the author of confusion, but of peace and clarity. It still tries to return every so often, and tries new tricks, but now that I'm aware that's one of my weaknesses, I can watch for it and pray to understand what I see, and then pray specifically against what's going on.)

When we "feel the spirit leave", it's not what we've been taught: the Holy Ghost speaking to us that something is false. The Spirit of God blazes in us for truth, it teaches & reaffirms truth in us. It speaks truth or leaves. It leaves when we flip the light switch to "off", by allowing another spirit claim upon us (for whatever reason--including generational curses we've carried since childhood or earlier). Whether through sin or ignorance (both of those can include false teachings we accept), when we do that we have unbelief that keeps us blind, in a dark room shut out of the glorious light of Jesus.

So, the next time you have that experience, that you "feel the spirit leave" to use the Mormon jargon, ask God what's really going on. Ask Him to reveal the bondage you're under, so you can understand--so you can flip that switch that evicts the darkness without argument. :o)

Words and Seeds

Last night our family read Alma's sermon to the Zoramites' poor about faith in Alma 32, which got me thinking. Vern had so many good things to say, and I wanted to share them (along with a few thoughts of my own). I gave up trying to untangle whose thoughts were whose, and present them here as a coherent whole--a neat metaphor for what we're trying to make our marriage.

Alma begins:

28 Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

It's our first task, as recipients of the Word of God, to make of our hearts good, soft soil into which we can receive His Word. To prepare the garden bed, so to speak. No matter what happens in our lives, we can choose to have believing hearts, ready to receive what the Lord offers us, or unbelieving hearts like hard, stony ground. Seeds may land upon it and sprout, but their tiny roots cannot reach down into the soil and they quickly wither for lack of a hospitable growing environment.

 30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow. 

 31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own likeness. 

 32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.

We talked together about how God plants seeds. Out in the meadow, or in the woods, seeds fall to the earth. They sprout according to the weather and season, in the proper time. God provides rain and temperatures that coax the seed to life, and it grows and becomes like its parent plant, whether hawkweed or white pine. The soil's only job is to receive the seed. God does the rest to get it started.

 33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good. 

34 And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand. 

35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect? 

36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.

Vern chose the blueberry for an example. If you plant a blueberry seed, and it sprouts and grows, you know you have a good seed. Fairly early on, you'll even be able to know, no longer having faith, that it was in fact a blueberry seed that sprouted and grew. But the fruit won't appear for a couple of years, so you still have to have faith that it will flourish and yet bear fruit.

 37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.

Once we have received the word into our hearts, and we know that it's good, that it increases light and life in us, then it's up to us to decide if we're going to invest in the seed--to nourish it with care, turning to God and talking to Him, listening for His Spirit, searching more of His word, trusting what He has said, and believing that He meant it--truly believing that God doesn't lie.

 38 But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.  

39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof. 

 40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life.

If we choose to change nothing in our lives, though, the word that began its growth in such beautiful ways, that brought goodness and light into our lives, will not have the depth to survive. Our knowledge of God, His nature and His ways needs to increase in order for it to continue to give into and change our lives. Otherwise we'll take more than our meager beginnings can give, and our understanding (the shallow roots of the tender tree) will be exhausted, and then overcome. 

 41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.

I love the final promise here, of a beautiful tree thriving, growing quickly and bearing as fruit everlasting life. Patience is important, but it doesn't mean the tree will grow slowly. Alma did say "springing up" . . . it just won't necessarily spring from the seed, fully formed, branches laden with fruit. ;o) We humans usually need a little more time to adjust than that, a more gradual changing of our lives to conform to a more perfected Godly walk.

So, what are you going to do today, or maybe over Lent (which begins today, Ash Wednesday, and ends at Easter) to nourish the Word of God in your hearts?

According to the Idols of our Hearts

Now some of the elders of Israel came to me and sat before me. And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts, and put before them that which causes them to stumble into iniquity. Should I let Myself be inquired of at all by them? Therefore speak to them, and say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God : Everyone of the house of Israel who sets up his idols in his heart, and puts before him what causes him to stumble into iniquity, and then comes to the prophet, I the Lord will answer him who comes, according to the multitude of his idols, that I may seize the house of Israel by their heart, because they are all estranged from Me by their idols'."

Therefore say to the house of Israel, "Thus says the Lord God : Repent, turn away from your idols, and turn your faces away from all your abominations. For anyone of the house of Israel, or of the strangers who dwell in Israel, who separates himself from Me and sets up his idols in his heart and puts before him what causes him to stumble into iniquity, then comes to a prophet to inquire of him concerning Me, I the Lord will answer him by Myself. I will set My face against that man and make him a sign and a proverb, and I will cut him off from the midst of My people. Then you shall know that I am The Lord."

~Ezekiel 14:1-8 NKJV

It seems like the idea that God will give us what's in our hearts keeps popping up over and over lately. So I've been reading and mulling over this passage, trying to understand its meaning. At first glance, it seems to be saying that God will give you whatever answer is in your heart. The NLT even renders a later verse as saying God will deceive a prophet:

"And if a prophet is deceived into giving a message, it is because I, the Lord, have deceived that prophet. I will lift my fist against such prophets and cut them off from the community of Israel.  False prophets and those who seek their guidance will all be punished for their sins." ~Ezekiel 14:9-10

The idea of God deceiving someone, or answering falsely because someone asks with an idolatrous heart, just doesn't jive with what I know of God. Both the Bible and Book of Mormon have something to say about the truthful nature of God. Paul wrote it to Titus, almost in passing, as if the idea that God is wholly truthful is such a given that it hardly bears mentioning:

This truth gives them confidence that they have eternal life, which God—who does not lie—promised them before the world began. ~ Titus 1:2 NLT

The Book of Mormon gets a little more specific, but still, it's a given; not an idea that takes a great deal of exposition or persuasion to make sense:

"And the Lord said unto [Ether]: Believest thou the words which I shall speak? And he answered: Yea, Lord, I know that thou speakest the truth, for thou art a God of truth, and canst not lie." ~Ether 3:11-12

So I turned my mind to the human side of the equation. How could God's truthful answer seem false to the children He loves, of whom He said,

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! ~Matt 7:7-11 NLT

And to whom He said:

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. ~James 1:5

and:

Remember that without faith you can do nothing; therefore ask in faith. Trifle not with these things; do not bask for that which you ought not. Ask that you may know the mysteries of God . . . ~D&C 8:10-11

(I love how the Lord followed up an injunction to not ask for things we "ought not" with a direct instruction right afterward to inquire about the "mysteries of God". Clearly, asking about the mysteries is not taboo, for anyone. Or at least God thinks so. ;o) )

So, long story short: God is just not into messing with His kids. He is truthful. He will give good things (i.e. the truth!) to those that ask Him, and He's not going to get after us for coming to Him with questions.

So, since God isn't a deceiver, how are we left to understand those verses? What can it mean to be answered according to the idols in our hearts?

I believe it's fairly well-understood that we limited human beings interpret and comprehend what comes into our lives according to what we know, what we have experienced. Most of us know the American proverb: "When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail."

Add to that the deep human distaste for cognitive dissonance, the square-peg-in-a-round-hold dilemma that requires us to either throw out the peg as defective, or do the sometimes painful work of changing the hole, changing the way we understand the world in order to accommodate the new truth we've received, and suddenly it starts to make sense.

As I was talking this through with Vern, it came to me so clearly: the idols in our hearts are colored glasses, filters, through which we understand what we receive from God. That's how some people can honestly believe that in order to have Zion, we have to actually kick the poor out from among us (since there will be no poor in Zion). The idols in their hearts require them to reject the poor, and then cry "all is well in Zion!" because they have achieved the condition of "and there shall be no poor among them". (And I've actually come across one of these. They are not Utah urban legend. I was gobsmacked.) The idea of needing to eject the poor in order to prepare for Jesus is so deeply counter to what the scriptures say . . . and yet I read a lengthy and flawlessly-reasoned explanation of why it makes perfect sense. Trouble was, the basic premise was flawed, and that little slant into how that person understood the nature of Jesus Christ, what His victory meant (that He was the ultimate owner of all, and that since He was the richest One in all of creation that He would only want the rich and successful with Him in paradise) made utter craziness of the scripture that tells us there shall be no poor in Zion, where the people are of one heart and Christ dwells among them. And yet, this person wrested the scriptures to fit his idea of Jesus.

When we have idols in our hearts, instead of God, the powerful force of human nature and all the beguiling temptations of the enemy combine in us to misunderstand God's word. Our misunderstanding fits within the framework we already have, though, and when we understand something, even if it's misunderstanding, neurons connect in the same way in our brains as when we learn something correctly, and we're given the same powerful positive hormonal feedback as when we learn something correctly.  I know this phenomenon well, from back in math class in junior high. 

If you're suffering from an idolatrous heart condition, it's easy to mistake that neurological feedback rush for Holy Spirit's witness of truth. (Which is much harder to mistake after you've received the Testimony of Jesus with the second baptism. That said, this can exist either whollistically, or in topic-specific areas. It can be due to veils of unbelief that still exist in parts of our understanding, and which God proceeds to remove methodically as we seek Him and press into our identities as His.

It's not God that answers differently when we set up gods unto ourselves. It's we, the mortal, fallible ones, who hear differently.

Father in Heaven, You are amazing. I rest, so confident, in Your unchanging nature, and the constancy of Jesus. I rejoice that You and He are faithful, that You are made of nothing which is not good, nothing which is not true, nothing which is not love. Because I know these things--because I know I can trust you without limit--Lord, open my eyes to my own idolatry. Show me the ways in which I still reject You, or get in Your way in my life. I want to follow You. I want my old life, my former way of doing things, the way that is my own, to be crucified; and I want to rise again into the unbounded love and grace of my Savior, continually changed into newness life after the manner of His life, of His heart. Lord, I want to live as proof of every good thing that comes from You; I want so much for my life to be the proof of Your love. I humble myself before You, God of mine that I know I can trust utterly and completely. (What good would be a god that isn't worthy of that? Hallelujah to God and the Lamb!) Thank You, oh how I thank You, for the happiness, peace, and JOY that comes when I throw myself upon Your mercy, Your grace, and into Your will. When I am made aware of a way to submit more fully to You, and make another leap past the boundary of my mortal experience. Keep showing me, God, what to do. Keep showing me things through Your eyes. Keep teaching me, and keep on turning all of my paradigms upside down. Even if I never get used to it--even if it never gets any easier--I will go through every last one of them rejoicing, because You are a giver of good gifts . . . and I want to receive all You have in store for Your children, in Jesus' beloved and tenderly merciful name, so be it. Amen!!!

(And God, can I just say that I'm so glad that I can have some measure of confidence that it will get easier? lol I really appreciate that. ;o) )



"The Proof Of Your Love"

If I sing but don't have love
I waste my breath with every song
I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise
If I speak with a silver tongue
Convince a crowd but don't have love
I leave a bitter taste with every word I say

So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love

If I give
To a needy soul but don't have love then who is poor?
It seems all the poverty is found in me

So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
Oh, let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love

When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains
Only love remains

Let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love

Suckling Babes

9 ¶Whom shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts.

~Isaiah 28:9 KJV

Reading this post got me thinking . . . and the clear application of Isaiah's analogy of a nursing babe to those who gain spiritual strength from other mortals came into my mind. God provides mother's milk to infants to nourish and strengthen them until they are old enough to eat on their own. Nursing babies are even born with a different throat construction than they will have in just over a year; it's nearly impossible for them to inhale enough milk to be in danger of drowning. During this time of inarticulation, the mother needs to be in tune with her baby (and, in my personal experience, the Spirit of God) so she can meet her baby's needs well, and the baby can thrive. Then, over time, the baby grows and flourishes on mother's milk, until it is developed enough to thrive on solid foods. During that period of growth, the baby's throat changes, and speech slowly becomes possible.

Spiritually, we all go through these same phases and changes. We are taught, and rely on, others stronger than ourselves to give us what we need to grow in the knowledge of God until we can receive that spiritual nourishment directly. It's a process of weaning ourselves from relying on mortals and learning to rely on God. The process varies widely . . . some follow a very natural and seamless path. Some need more time nourished by a spiritual mother; others a relatively short time. But, like with human infants who spend somewhere between 1.4% and 3% of their total lifespan on mother's milk, we're not meant to rely on men for more than a short time, and only as necessary when God leads us through new areas of development where we might once again hold infant status.

My own process was mostly seamless, until in my late teens the enemy got the upper hand through depression and a spirit of confusion that held me down for a couple decades. That was just plain spiritual starvation through famine. Then, I was sent a spiritual mother who nourished me, and whose simple connection to God showed me how others I had relied on for survival during those years of famine had fed me utterly worthless junk food. Worse yet, that junk food had deeply damaged the development of my relationship with God. The weaning process from those sources was abrupt, deeply painful, and I'm still discovering raw voids in my soul for Jesus to fill. But the burden lifted from no longer drinking that Kool-Aid is blessed relief, the resulting clarity stark and brilliant, like the view from a high peak on the clearest, coldest day of winter.

And, as I have once again flourished and have begun to receive my nourishment directly from God, I've found my voice.

On Discernment

(This is a response to the heuristics here in Rob's post. I posted it as a comment here, but wanted a record here, as well.)

Funny, I also had some responses to your heuristics, but I usually let longer comments age a bit before posting them.  I appreciate kpeetersn's comments, as they did such a great job of opening the conversation, and showing an alternate point of view. Your heuristics are marked with a dash. My comments begin with an asterisk.

(Full disclosure: I have a habit of carefully examining statements' inverse and converse, because Americans have a persistent and faulty habit of assuming if a statement is true, then the inverse and converse MUST be true. Hence the power of the media.)

-Is the direction comfortable, easy, or desirable? It is probably not from God.

*God has asked me to do a lot of things I'm comfortable with, that are easy for me, and that I desire with all my heart. Just not necessarily at times that I feel like doing them. ;o) And, the more I have listened to Him, the easier and more desirable the things He asks me to do become.

-Is the direction difficult, will it lead to embarrassment, pain, sacrifice, loss of time and money? Probably from God.

*I'd like to qualify this one by saying these are not requirements for direction from heaven. Promptings I've received have saved me from all of those things at various times, often to great extent. Our God is a GOOD Father. Yes, sometimes He asks hard things of us . . . but not always. And never does He put us through hard things that we didn't choose. If hard things come into our lives, it's because our choices brought them there, whether or not God invited us on that path.

-Does it make you feel overwhelmingly small and insignificant? Probably from God.

*Promptings can bring these, especially as someone first begins to listen carefully to God's whisperings . . . but it's not a requirement. By "overwhelmingly small and insignificant", were you trying to describe the incredibly intimate and saturated feeling of humility that comes when God speaks direction to us? One of the strangest and most beautiful things I've learned lately about humility is that it takes a tremendous amount of it from me to approach the throne of grace boldly and accept all God has to offer, DESPITE my perceived shortcomings, the fact that I didn't spend as much time in the scriptures as I know God wanted me to last week, the fact that I'm not as devoted in prayer as I might be, etc. He still wants to pour out onto me as much as I can possibly accept. It's up to me to not beat myself up, preventing myself from accepting all He's able to give me right now, this moment. And let me tell you--THAT takes letting go of that overwhelming feeling of insignificance, of stepping forward in true humility and obedience, and a tremendous amount of trust in God. And it's 180 degrees from what I thought (and was taught) God wanted my behavior toward Him to be, which was more of the sackcloth and ashes, beating myself up kind of attitude. But who wants us to beat ourselves up? Not God. Who wants us to stand, simply and without pretense, in His presence? Not only wants that, but will rejoice with us in it? Not the adversary.

-Does it make you feel like you are someone special, that you are unique or specially prepared? Probably not from God.

*I think you may have meant something more like "Does it make you feel better than everyone, or anyone, else?"

God has used me in ways I know He prepared me for (some of those times were foretold in my patriarchal blessing, others later illuminated by the Holy Ghost) . . . and when I realized that was what He was doing, I felt all of these, along with a sense of His excitement that His planning was coming to fruition. We are ALL His favorites--and thinking of it that way is just the tiniest beginning of understanding how unstinting and lavish His love is for us. He specially prepares ALL of us for the work He wants us to do. Always. Everything in our lives can be turned to His work, to His will.

-Does it feel rushed, exciting, or thrilling? Probably not from God.

*This one needs some qualifiers.  "Cast yourself from this mountaintop, so God can catch you," fits nicely as one from the adversary. "Learn French so you can speak into the lives of people I will bring to you" does, as well. The difference in the second example being that I received it from God recently, and it's absolutely exciting and thrilling, (there's nothing more in this life that I could ask for than to know I'll be able to be an instrument in God's hands, no matter how simple) and I feel rushed because I know from the impression that came with His word that I don't have much time to do it. He wants me to do it now, without delay.

Fifteen years ago I had a very simple, sweet experience where my Spanish saved a lovely sister in line ahead of me at McD's from difficulty and embarrassment when it came time for her to order. That morning God told me to study the Book of Mormon in Spanish, which of necessity kicked into gear the slightly dusty Spanish-thinking corners of my brain. I was thinking in Spanish when I stopped for food on my way to class, and answering her questions, spoken softly in broken English, comfortably in Spanish is still something that brings a shine to my eyes, because she was such a gentle woman . . . and I'm so glad I was able to spare her discomfort, and possibly derisive laughter, at the hands of the rather hurried and impatient teenage McD employees that day. Remembering that experience, and thinking of this new instruction, has me pretty excited. Even if all I do is help someone understand a menu or bus schedule on a busy day in a big city.

-Is the direction towards something that you know there is no way you could possibly do it? Probably from God.

*Again, sometimes, yes. But if it's something that you can do, even easily, that doesn't disqualify it as from heaven. (Again, that inverse thing.) ;o)

As far as discerning of spirits, I've found several ways that work really well for me. The first step was realizing that complete thoughts that come into my head aren't from my own mind. I personally have to speak or write in order for thoughts to fully form, generally speaking. I can concentrate and "speak" thoughts in my own mind, but it's a very conscious thing, like speaking or writing. It doesn't just happen on its own, or when I'm doing something else.

Once I realized that, it became easier and easier to recognize the voices of familiar spirits assigned to tempt me. (Familiar spirits aren't just hanging around mediums and mystics. They are the imps who follow us around--whose presence we are accustomed to.) It took them about a week or ten days to realize I'd caught on; then things became more subtle. I rarely hear temptations in words anymore. (Right now it's mostly just straight-out spiritual warfare with emotion as the enemy's heavy artillery.) But the differences are still there. And when I hear from the adversary, those voices are easily distinguishable from the Lord's, for several reasons:

1) Timbre/quality. Satan just can't mimic the rich, full-spectrum, complete spiritual "sound" of the Lord's voice.

2) Accompanying feelings. When the Lord speaks to me, a feeling of encompassing love and calm comes along. (If I don't feel it right away, it's just waiting for me to accept it. Satan hasn't ever been able to reproduce it.) Added to that is a level of communication with each word that just can't be put into words--feelings and attitudes, emotions and thoughts, often still images, sometimes short video-like visions, and sometimes just the impression of color, shape or movement. This differs just as a single-tone melody midi file does from a live orchestra under the command of a seasoned and well-loved director.

3) Physical sensation. Promptings from God come with a feeling of balance and harmony throughout my body that begins at the crown of my head and quickly fills me. Temptations (which can be anything from the archetypical "you really DO want to see what that wine tastes like" to "She thinks I'm a lousy mom" or "I've lost every last bit of credibility with my leadership") come with little or no change in my physical state.

4) Direction. When temptations come, they originate from behind, above, and slightly to the right of my head. Communications from God originate in the very center of my mind, like the perfect flowering of the physical sensation I mentioned above as it moves through me.

I don't know if everyone feels these things. It's possible they happen to everyone, but not everyone discerns them. My mom told me when I was a child that I was a hypochondriac, had zero pain tolerance, and worried too much about how I was feeling. (As it has turned out, thanks to diagnoses in adulthood, I wasn't. There really were things wrong with me, but I didn't know how to express them with my child's vocabulary.) That said, all of that self-directed attention means that when there's even the tiniest shift, I recognize it.  So, there you go. :o)

Stand up and BE.

And Jacob was left alone, and a Man wrestled with him until daybreak.  And when [the Man] saw that He did not prevail against [Jacob], He touched the hollow of his thigh; and Jacob's thigh was put out of joint as he wrestled with Him.  Then He said, Let Me go, for day is breaking. But [Jacob] said, I will not let You go unless You declare a blessing upon me.  [The Man] asked him, What is your name? And [in shock of realization, whispering] he said, Jacob [supplanter, schemer, trickster, swindler]!  And He said, Your name shall be called no more Jacob [supplanter], but Israel [contender with God]; for you have contended  and  have power with God and with men and have prevailed. [Hos. 12:3-4.] Genesis 32:24-28

Strive to enter by the narrow door [force yourselves through it], for many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able.  Luke 13:24 AMP

I keep seeing passages like these . . . passages where I feel God saying to me, "Stand up and BE POWERFUL already!" And I scratch my head and say, "Sure thing! What do I do, God?" and He keeps saying "BE POWERFUL in ME!" and I scratch my head again and say, "Okay, God, what do I do?" and we continue on and on in circles.

God has told me to do two things: spend time with Him in His word this way, feasting on His word and reveling in it. I love it--and I will make time for it. The other is to throw myself into my motherhood, and to let Him teach me how to do it, how to be a Godly mother who is close to her children, who takes good care of them, and has a truly lovely and inviting home--not because it's fancy or expensive, but because it's clean and made beautiful with my hands. (He has already wrought a couple fundamental changes in my mothering, and I can't wait to see what happens next.)  I've been haltingly attempting both . . . with limited and intermittent success. But that time is past. I'm done with "sort of" obeying. I can do these things--not just because they're totally reasonable and doable, but because God told me to. The provision has already been made. He has a vision for me, for my best life, for my highest happiness and blessing here and now. He is beckoning me to it. And I'm going to walk that way, wherever it takes me. He's there, walking with me, showing me where to go. I just have to hang onto His hand, train my body, mind & spirit to follow Him, and see what happens next.

I have to admit that the whole "Be Powerful" thing comes with a slew of sea anchors. I have a long history of getting myself into hot water with various and sundry for opening my mouth, for being too bold or too knowledgeable, for wanting to help too much, for thinking things through and coming up with solutions too quickly, for having too much input. For singing too loudly, for loving God and pursuing Him too much. For being different. For approaching things differently. I also have a long history of ignoring all of those negatives (with varying degrees of success), and pressing on in study, in music, in thought and in study. I love those things. I love Jesus. And pushing any of them back into a dark corner, neglected, feels like I die a little inside.

Father, like I said on facebook two days ago, I'm ready for change. I'm willing to change. I'm willing to be uncomfortable--even though Your changes can be REALLY uncomfortable. (Hello, yesterday! Ummm, yeah. I'd love to know what that was all about, what you want me to think or do. Thanks bunches.) Thank You so, so much for the love that comes to surround and heal, to lift and bless. And keep sending it, Father. Please. I have a feeling You're not done with me, yet. ;o)  I love you, Abba. I will strive to enter by the narrow door--though there are crowds pressing in to look at it, talk about it, take Instagram pictures, and otherwise obstruct it, while not going in themselves.   Give me love for every person, every child of Yours. I just want to know You, to love, and be loved. To touch lives in such a way that I leave a Jesus trail everywhere I go . . . I want that favor in the eyes of others so they can see YOU.  Being approved is much more comfortable than not (I'm the first to admit!), but that's the cherry on top. I just want to be well received so people will listen to the witness I have of YOU.  It's Your approval I crave--and that I want others to have. In Jesus' name, Amen.