Reject the Insanity

A short while ago, I was disappointed. I felt justified in my disappointment. I felt that the thing I wanted was reasonable, normal, would really mean a lot to my happiness, and dagnabbit I've waited 15 years and it's about time!

I spent about two days feeling that way. Feeling justified in my wants, justified in my pride, and contentedly sure of the "right" position I held in my self-centeredness.

Then, I read a book. A 1950's whodunit with a little romantic background arc. And in that book, an exchange happened: a married woman complained about her husband to the divorced antagonist.

"Why should Hart be allowed to get away with that sort of thing? I've a damned good mind to—"
I said abruptly: "Do you want to keep your husband or don't you?"
"I—of course I want to keep him! What a silly question!"
"Then leave him alone," I said. "Don't you know yet that there's no room for pride in marriage? You have to choose between the two. If you can't keep quiet, then you must make up your mind to lose him. If you want him, then swallow your pride and shut up. It'll heal over; everything does, given time enough and a bit of peace.”

And, mulling over that exchange later that evening, clarity came as I stood at the counter by the fridge. The Holy Spirit came back, and I felt like I had been crazy. The memory of how I felt over this little thing was like a milder version of the way you feel when waking up with night terrors, where you know you're awakened from a nightmare, but it's SO real to you still. Your reason tells you it was just a dream, that world you know is really still there, but that feeling of your mind gripped in the terror of the dream doesn't go away until you go back to sleep. Like my perspective had been so skewed by wanting this thing that I couldn't see my marriage, my friendship with this good, good man, in the light of truth. 

I've gone through these kinds of shifts in attitude before… but I have never felt the difference so clearly. Before, I thought the shift came because I chose to ignore what I wanted, consciously choosing to give it up for the sake of closeness in my marriage. This time I recognized it: Jesus bringing me back to solid ground. Back to reality as He sees it.

This time I saw my selfishness, and what  effect it had: allowing the enemy to cloak my mind with my own wants so completely that that was all I saw--all I could see.

At that moment my prayer became: "Lord, keep me sane. I want to see things as they are, and love as I am. Please, never let me be deceived like that again!"

It has been interesting since then; my new understanding has been put to the test, and I'm learning what it really means (a tiny bit at a time) to see as Jesus sees. There is no deception in Him. 

And that, my friends, is vital to remember. 

Until Further Directed . . .

Joseph Smith wrote in his History 1:26:

"I had now got my mind satisfied so far as the sectarian world was concerned--that it was not my duty to join with any of them, but to continue as I was until further directed." 

Then, he continues in the next verse:

"I continued to pursue my common vocations in life until the twenty-first of September, one thousand eight hundred and twenty-three, all the time suffering severe persecution at the hands of all classes of men, both religious and irreligious, because I continued to affirm that I Had seen a vision." (JSH 1:27)

The ensuing verses detail some of what Joseph went through in those intervening three-plus years, while he waited for further direction.  He never denied what he had seen and experienced. But he waited.  And waited.  Until he grew so worried for his standing with God that he was driven to his knees:

"In consequence of these things, I often felt condemned for my weakness and imperfections; when, on the evening of the above-mentioned twenty-first of September, after I had retired to my bed for the night, I betook myself to prayer and supplication to Almighty God for forgiveness of all my sins and follies, and also for a manifestation to me, that I might know of my state and standing before Him; for I had full confidence in obtaining a divine manifestation, as I previously had one."

Joseph had a tremendous work ahead of him.  (A work which was stymied and distorted almost from the very first. But that's a whole 'nuther post for another time.) And yet, the Lord had to be invited to give Joseph further instructions.  Even Adam, at the beginning of time, actively looked for messengers from his Father, while following the commandments he had been given.

I've heard over and over lately from members of my church things to the effect that if the brethren were doing something wrong, or if the course of the church was awry, God would step in and fix it.  He would come down and appear to President Monson and fix his wagon.

But that is not the pattern set forth in scripture.

God will not--I would even go so far as to say He cannot--step in and give us knowledge we don't ask for.  Blacks' ordination in the priesthood wasn't a glorious vision handed down from on high. The restoration had hit Brazil, and they were having one hell of a time determining who was "white" enough to hold priesthood, and who was "black" enough to be barred from ordination.  It was a crisis in the church which finally drove the leadership to the Lord with sufficient humility that they could hear what God would have told them all along.

He is the same 

yesterday, today, and forever. 

If blacks today are worthy of holding the priesthood, then they were worthy all along.  They didn't suddenly become MORE worthy in the 70's.  Christ's sacrifice wasn't somehow held back from them until that point. There is evidence Joseph ordained black men--and Nephi has something to say about this kind of thing:

"[F]or [the Lord] doeth that which is good among the children of men; and he doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of men; and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile." 

~2 Nephi 26:33

That leaves us with a rather uncomfortable conclusion, though, doesn't it? It leaves us with the glaring fact that the leaders of the LDS church are simply what every one of us are: mortal beings, called of God, to do a work on this earth. We are, each and every one of us, imperfect.  Christ can, with His infinite grace and loving mercy, fix so many things we wreck up with abandon.  That not everything that happens in the LDS church is His will.  (Thank heavens!!!)

We are people.  ALL of us.  God is NO respecter of persons.  So, if He let Joseph marinate in his own trials and mistakes for three and a half years, waiting for young Joseph to take his spiritual progression into his own hands, the same holds true for leaders today.  They are men.  Good, kind, often inspired, earnest and well-intentioned men, doing the best they can to run a monstrously monolithic megabusiness, with fingers in a thousand pies.  It is not only unreasonable, but abusive, to persist in asserting that God micromanages those good men.  He is not a God who controls. He commands, invites, entreats.  But He does not force.  That is satan's pattern and plan.  Not His. He just IS.  We can move toward Him or away . . . and the rest is consequences of the direction of our movement.

Look at Joseph's life.  He was the most obviously approved of by God.  (Hello . . . he's our dispensation head. 'Nough said.)  He healed. He prophesied. (Prolifically.) When he asked, he heard God's answer.  Usually right then.  When he taught, he taught scripture, or God's word received through revelation (which is the same thing, just not printed in earthly records).  And he stood accountable for every bit of it.  He also made some colossal blunders in business.  He lost a tremendous amount of money.  Gave his store's stock to those in need, and went into tremendous debt doing so.  He was in the process of going into bankruptcy at the time of his death.

God doesn't demand perfection from His leaders.  Nor does He step in to prevent their blunders.  If asked, He will guide us--collectively and individually.  But when we don't ask, don't listen, don't watch for messengers from our Father, we're left to our own strength, our own wisdom.

I don't know about you, but I'll keep asking, keep listening, keep watching to see His hand in my life . . . and afford ALL men the dignity of expecting them to be in full ownership of their agency, and let rest on them the full responsibility thereof.

The alternative simply isn't appealing.

He's Got Your Back

"Cowardice is largely predicated upon fear. Don't be cowardly. Don't be fearful. Fear is the opposite of faith. For goodness sake, you're already in the battle! You're already going to be overtaken. The fact of the matter is no one gets out of here alive. Live this life nobly, fearlessly. When you take the wounds thatcome your way make sure that they come to your front! Don't let them shoot you in the back. Go aboutyour life boldly, nobly, valiantly. Because it is only through valiance in the testimony of Jesus Christ thatyou can hope to secure anything. Not valiance in your fidelity to anything other than Jesus Christ. Thefact of the matter is that faith must be based in Him, and in Him alone."  (Denver Snuffer, "Be of Good Courage, Be of Good Cheer")

Since Denver's talk in Boise, I've heard that phrase repeated: "Don't let them shoot you in the back."  It is fast becoming part of the metatext of our time for those actually believe the scriptures when they say that signs should follow them that believe; that our good works should be in secret; that we should not judge the beggar, but give to those in need. Period. I've pondered over it, especially since it can look like a strangely flawed metaphor, considering these words were spoken right after his excommunication.  Denver is constantly championing turning to Christ, and engaging none else in our reaching out to Him.  

So, if your enemies range themselves about you, and you refuse to turn from Christ and the direction He is walking with you, what does that leave exposed to them? 

Your back.

But here's the key: when you're engaged in the journey back to the Father, Christ is with you. Before you, beside you, behind you.  He's got your back.  Nothing any man can do to you while you walk under Christ's protection can harm you eternally.  Nothing.  Anything the enemy hurls at you, intending for your harm, Christ will turn to your good.

We will hurt. People will do stupid, mortal things.  Despite our best efforts, we still act out of our own hurt and incomplete understanding . . . and in so doing, will hurt others. The spiritual and emotional tsunamis that rock this world, and the small and personal world each of us inhabits, brought on by the tectonic shifts of sin & death, will not be to our destruction. They will give us experience. 

And God will turn them to our good. 

If we love Him.

God cares about context--and so need we!

Scripture:

Moreover Job continued his discourse, and said: “ As God lives, who has taken away my justice, And the Almighty, who has made my soul bitter, . . ." (Job 27:1-2 NKJV)

Likewise the chief priests also,  mocking among themselves with the scribes, said, “He saved  others; Himself He cannot save.  Let the Christ, the King of Israel, descend now from the cross, that we may see and believe.” (Mark 15:31-32 NKJV)

Observation:

The first passage, if taken as it is without understanding what was going on in Job's life, or what he was learning, could leave us thinking that God isn't just. That He punishes without provocation.  Likewise, the Jewish leaders mocking Christ because he "couldn't" save Himself no doubt believed they were absolutely justified in using that as conclusive evidence of what they most dearly hoped: that Jesus was a fraud.

But both of these passages show the critical nature of context. The first one neglects the fact that Job lived in some amount of fear, not fully trusting in God's goodness and faithfulness. The second, that Christ had a bigger plan than saving His own life--and in staying on the cross and finishing His work, He would save us all.  Even the high priests and scribes.

Application:

I've been seeing, lately, just how vital full context is.  When I come across something presented as truth that doesn't make sense--that doesn't harmonize with the gospel as I know it--then either that something isn't truth, or my understanding is flawed.  And I thank God that He has given me a powerful tool by which to judge which is which: His spirit in power.  Knowing truly, overwhelmingly, undeniably, unutterably, His infinite voice and the truly complete communication that comes from God, provides a true way to judge between my understanding and that of those around me.  This is why we must seek Him . . . why we can't lean on men or our own understanding.  Because He provides the only power by which we can discern rightly.

He has already provided us with the context we need to recognize His voice, His truth, His will for us.

15 For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.
16 For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
17 But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.
18 And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged.
19 Wherefore, I beseech of you, brethren, that ye should search diligently in the light of Christ that ye may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ." ~ Moroni 7:15-19

Emotion isn't God. Teaching from Him comes, sweet and complete, and is absolutely unique to Him. I can no more imitate or imagine the presence and communication of The Father than I could personally turn the day into night.  I know what God feels like.  He has taught me, and I will not accept a surrogate . . . I will seek Him more earnestly, and I will find Him.

9 And the presence of God withdrew from Moses, that his glory was not upon Moses; and Moses was left unto himself. And as he was left unto himself, he fell unto the earth.
10 And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.
11 But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes, for my natural eyes could not have beheld; for I should have withered and died in his presence; but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him.
12 And it came to pass that when Moses had said these words, behold, Satan came tempting him, saying: Moses, son of man, worship me.
13 And it came to pass that Moses looked upon Satan and said: Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee?
14 For behold, I could not look upon God, except his glory should come upon me, and I were transfigured before him. But I can look upon thee in the natural man. Is it not so, surely?
15 Blessed be the name of my God, for his Spirit hath not altogether withdrawn from me, or else where is thy glory, for it is darkness unto me? And I can judge between thee and God; for God said unto me: Worship God, for him only shalt thou serve.
16 Get thee hence, Satan; deceive me not; for God said unto me: Thou art after the similitude of mine Only Begotten.
17 And he also gave me commandments when he called unto me out of the burning bush, saying: Call upon God in the name of mine Only Begotten, and worship me.
18 And again Moses said: I will not cease to call upon God, I have other things to inquire of him: for his glory has been upon me, wherefore I can judge between him and thee. Depart hence, Satan.                                 

~Moses 1:9-18
Joseph Smith said, while on one of his missions:

"If you will obey the Gospel with honest hearts, I promise you, in the name of the Lord, that the gifts as promised by our Saviour will follow you, and by this you may prove me to be a true servant of God." (Journal History, October 16, 1834) 

Prayer: Lord, I praise You for the perfect planning You put in place for Your children. I rejoice in the sure knowledge that no matter where I'm coming from, I can trust You . . . and that there simply isn't a way for the enemy to offer a counterfeit that can compare to the real deal: You. I will keep learning the gospel Jesus lived and taught, and feasting on the glorious abundance of Your Spirit as I do.  Thank you!!!

He won't feed us stones.

Scripture:

At this they began to argue with each other because they hadn’t brought any bread. Jesus knew what they were saying, so he said, “Why are you arguing about having no bread? Don’t you know or understand even yet? Are your hearts too hard to take it in? ‘You have eyes—can’t you see? You have ears—can’t you hear?’ Don’t you remember anything at all? When I fed the 5,000 with five loaves of bread, how many baskets of leftovers did you pick up afterward?” “Twelve,” they said. “And when I fed the 4,000 with seven loaves, how many large baskets of leftovers did you pick up?” “Seven,” they said. “Don’t you understand yet?” he asked them. 

Then Jesus began to tell them that the Son of Man must suffer many terrible things and be rejected by the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but three days later he would rise from the dead. As he talked about this openly with his disciples, Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things. Jesus turned around and looked at his disciples, then reprimanded Peter. “Get away from me, Satan!” he said. “You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.” Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” (Mark 8:16-21, 31-38 NLT)

Observation: In 16-21, Jesus is showing the disciples how simply, how easily, how willingly He will care for them. How He will supply their every need. All the while as they were bellyaching and pointing fingers at one another over who should have brought the food, and whining about being hungry, Jesus was RIGHT THERE. The Bread of Life. The Living Water. And an endless supply of both. 

Application: How often do I assume Jesus won't bother Himself with little ordinary me? How regularly do I hesitate, not wanting to weary Him? Cherishing in my heart a seed of fear in not wanting to be disappointed? Believing more in my mortal life experience than I do in Christ's eager willingness to save at every turn, and holding back from releasing His will into my life simply by telling Him what I need and turning it over to Him? He was saying to His disciples: "I've fed nine thousand people with what usually wouldn't even feed all'y'all. Why are you all wrapped around the axle about forgetting bread?" This God of ours is the God of Miracles. Why do I continue, in practice, to not let Him perform them in my life?  

Prayer: Father who is my God in Heaven, I praise You for Jesus. I praise You for who You are, and that He won the Victory for us. I'm really astounded at Your generosity, and at Jesus', and am scratching my head as I try to accept the deep rest You offer, the bounty of Your care, and to hear clearly what You would have me do. Father, show me how to walk in Your will. Show me where the truth lives between those who believe that a few words from their mouths will save them, and those who believe that it's all up to them to earn salvation through their works. Make Yourself known unto me, and give me understanding and the company of Your Spirit in my heart so I might better be who You need me to be. Let me not only believe *in* Jesus, but to actually *believe Him.* In Jesus' beautiful name, so be it. :-)

God's Selfless Heart

Scripture: But when the teachers of religious law who were Pharisees saw him eating with tax collectors and other sinners, they asked his disciples, “Why does he eat with such scum? ” When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” 

Then Jesus said to them, “The Sabbath was made to meet the needs of people, and not people to meet the requirements of the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord, even over the Sabbath!” (Mark 2:16, 17, 27, 28 NLT)

Observation: Jesus is all about us. Everything He did, everything He chose, all of His planning and provision, has been with an eye on the salvation and happiness of mankind. 

Application: What an amazing God He is. The only One out of all of the earth's religions that came to His people, asking nothing for Himself. (Interesting that the rest--all imaginings of the minds of men--all require various forms of self-aggrandizement.) How can I, as a parent, follow Jesus' walk more closely in my life?

Prayer: Father, I want to be a good mother--to give generously to my children that which is most vital to their healthy development and wholeness spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Show me, Lord. Teach me. Walk with me and tutor me in my calling as mother to this often-overwhelming family You have so generously given me. (Your trust in me astounds me on a regular basis, Lord. Wow.) Multiply my strength, make my back strong and my energy overflow, so in You (and ONLY in You) I might be equal to the journey You have in store for us. I praise You so loudly, Lord, for Your generous love. I lift Your name high in my life. I love you, and long to be more fully Yours, and to see Your will manifested through my life and in my family. In Jesus' most beautiful name, amen!

Paul: One gutsy guy

Scripture: Acts 24-26 NKJV

Observation: Paul stood before one and all . . . and witnessed of Jesus. In a time and place where Jesus wasn't recognized or revered, to people that he had worshipped God with nearly all his life. How hard must that have been? To be called apostate? Blasphemer? And yet, he was ready to ditch it all--even his life--to testify of his visitation, of his knowledge, of his joy.

Application: I wonder how we would do, in our day, if faced with something similar? We're surrounded by unbelievers . . . so there are plenty of chances for God to put us in the way of someone who needs our testimony. The specific nature of John's speaking up to the Sanhedrin is what really got my attention, though. I wonder if there will come a day when the humble followers of Christ will face something similar.

Prayer: Lord, grant me strength. Grant me courage. Fill me with You such that that's all others can see, feel, or hear. I will let go of all of the petty, mortal things, and hold only to You.  Please, Lord, so me how to better do so every day. In Jesus' name, amen.

Fire Follows Water

Scripture: Acts 19:4-6 NKJV

Then Paul said, “John indeed baptized with a baptism of repentance, saying to the people that they should believe on Him who would come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus.” When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. And when Paul had laid hands on them, the Holy Spirit came upon them, and they spoke with tongues and prophesied.
Observation: When these believers were baptized & Paul laid his hands on them, something amazing happened.

Application: Amazing things happen to believers. Amazing things should happen to believers. If they're not happening--if they're the stuff of urban legend and family folklore--then there's something wrong:

But, behold, faith cometh not by signs, but signs follow those that believe.  Yea, signs come by faith, not by the will of men, nor as they please, but by the will of God. Yea, signs come by faith, unto mighty works, for without faith no man pleaseth God; and with whom God is angry he is not well pleased; wherefore, unto such he showeth no signs, only in wrath unto their condemnation. (D&C 63:9-11)

Prayer: Most Beloved Father of mine, teach me to walk in greater faith. Teach me, show me, open my mind and heart to Your way, Your path, Your wonders all around me. I just want to know You better, to be close to You. And, more than anything, I just want to do Your will. Show me, please, in Jesus' glorious name, so be it.

Job Had A Midlife Crisis

Scripture: Job 13-14 NLT

“Look, I have seen all this with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears, and now I understand. I know as much as you do. You are no better than I am. As for me, I would speak directly to the Almighty. I want to argue my case with God himself. As for you, you smear me with lies. As physicians, you are worthless quacks. If only you could be silent! That’s the wisest thing you could do. Listen to my charge; pay attention to my arguments. “Are you defending God with lies? Do you make your dishonest arguments for his sake? Will you slant your testimony in his favor? Will you argue God’s case for him? What will happen when he finds out what you are doing? Can you fool him as easily as you fool people? No, you will be in trouble with him if you secretly slant your testimony in his favor. Doesn’t his majesty terrify you? Doesn’t your fear of him overwhelm you? Your platitudes are as valuable as ashes. Your defense is as fragile as a clay pot. “Be silent now and leave me alone. Let me speak, and I will face the consequences. Yes, I will take my life in my hands and say what I really think. God might kill me, but I have no other hope. I am going to argue my case with him. But this is what will save me—I am not godless. If I were, I could not stand before him. “Listen closely to what I am about to say. Hear me out. I have prepared my case; I will be proved innocent. Who can argue with me over this? And if you prove me wrong, I will remain silent and die. “O God, grant me these two things, and then I will be able to face you. Remove your heavy hand from me, and don’t terrify me with your awesome presence. Now summon me, and I will answer! Or let me speak to you, and you reply. Tell me, what have I done wrong? Show me my rebellion and my sin. Why do you turn away from me? Why do you treat me as your enemy? Would you terrify a leaf blown by the wind? Would you chase dry straw? “You write bitter accusations against me and bring up all the sins of my youth. You put my feet in stocks. You examine all my paths. You trace all my footprints. I waste away like rotting wood, like a moth-eaten coat.

“How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble! We blossom like a flower and then wither. Like a passing shadow, we quickly disappear. Must you keep an eye on such a frail creature and demand an accounting from me? Who can bring purity out of an impure person? No one! You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer. So leave us alone and let us rest! We are like hired hands, so let us finish our work in peace. “Even a tree has more hope! If it is cut down, it will sprout again and grow new branches. Though its roots have grown old in the earth and its stump decays, at the scent of water it will bud and sprout again like a new seedling. “But when people die, their strength is gone. They breathe their last, and then where are they? As water evaporates from a lake and a river disappears in drought, people are laid to rest and do not rise again. Until the heavens are no more, they will not wake up nor be roused from their sleep. “I wish you would hide me in the grave and forget me there until your anger has passed. But mark your calendar to think of me again! Can the dead live again? If so, this would give me hope through all my years of struggle, and I would eagerly await the release of death. You would call and I would answer, and you would yearn for me, your handiwork. For then you would guard my steps, instead of watching for my sins. My sins would be sealed in a pouch, and you would cover my guilt. “But instead, as mountains fall and crumble and as rocks fall from a cliff, as water wears away the stones and floods wash away the soil, so you destroy people’s hope. You always overpower them, and they pass from the scene. You disfigure them in death and send them away. They never know if their children grow up in honor or sink to insignificance. They suffer painfully; their life is full of trouble.”

Observation: I know that's a LOT of scripture, but honestly, it's important. Thanks for sticking it out. ;o)

In yesterday's reading, I saw hope in   words to Job in chapter eleven.  He was urging his friend to do what he had done in his own life, what had worked for him. "Stop worrying and defending yourself, trust God, and worship Him. Then He will pour blessings out on your life, and you can be happy again!"

But today, I heard Job's inability to grasp what his friend was offering. His misunderstanding of his friend's intentions, or the words he chose.  Job rejected that hope, and then went and ranted at God, feeling a healthy dose of self-righteous pity from his fleshly perspective.

The story of Job might be more like a midlife crisis.  His thinking may have been topsy-turvy with the whole "This is NOT what I signed up for!" that comes when life takes a turn that you really, really weren't expecting, did your best to avoid, and don't feel you deserve.  His friends, who love him, (Hello! They sat on the ground, silent, for a WEEK, people!), were offering hope and help as best they could, from their own perspective and experiences . . . but none of it reached Job, other than to prick and poke him enough to get him off of his rear and onto his knees.  Then he rants. He complains. He whines.*  And God starts doing cartwheels because His son is FINALLY opening up to Him, and is getting ready to listen.

*(I especially like 14:21, where Job complains about how when God strikes people down, they don't get to live to see their children grow up, and to see if they do well for themselves in life; I find it pretty hilarious Job would complain that way, when all of his own children were dead. It's like he was running out of things to complain about, and was repeating things he had heard others say, the way my children will when they're out of ideas, but their angst isn't yet spent.)

Application: This story of Job's is so much more complex than I ever thought before.  Up until yesterday, I thought the story arc went something like this: "Good man is tried with horrible, undeserved trials. His friends come to lord it over him, and judge him. He is humble, bears testimony of God's goodness, and God restores to him all he lost and more. The end."  But with the really difficult things adulthood has thrown at me, the way God has taken my life up, shaken it hard so I had to hold on to my marriage, my family and my faith, letting everything else fall away, has shown me a totally different story.  One where these trials bring out a weakness in Job that he learns to overcome. One where he is all tangled in his situation and despite the best efforts of the imperfect people that love him, can't "just get it right" or "get over it".

I also love how this new take on Job shows (again!) how, truly, God is big. So powerful. So forgiving. So purely patient. He has big shoulders. He can take our ranting, our raving, our complaining.  We can pound on Him until our strength is spent, and we can't hurt Him in doing it. He sees what we're going through, understands it perfectly, and has total mercy for us as we flail and thrash through it. And he LOVES it when we come and rant, rave, and complain to Him, because it means that we're paying attention to Him!

Prayer: Lord of Heaven and Earth, I love you. I just want to sing and shout to the skies my gratitude and my rejoicing when I stop and think about who You are, what You are, and how that makes everything perfectly and completely okay. Thank you for all You have done for me. For the way You love me without any reserve, without any failing. Because it changes everything. And I will never be the same. :o)

Let go already!

Scripture: Job 11:4-20 NLT

You claim, ‘My beliefs are pure,’ and ‘I am clean in the sight of God.’ If only God would speak; if only he would tell you what he thinks! If only he would tell you the secrets of wisdom, for true wisdom is not a simple matter. Listen! God is doubtless punishing you far less than you deserve! “Can you solve the mysteries of God? Can you discover everything about the Almighty? Such knowledge is higher than the heavens— and who are you? It is deeper than the underworld — what do you know? It is broader than the earth and wider than the sea. If God comes and puts a person in prison or calls the court to order, who can stop him? For he knows those who are false, and he takes note of all their sins. An empty-headed person won’t become wise any more than a wild donkey can bear a human child. “If only you would prepare your heart and lift up your hands to him in prayer! Get rid of your sins, and leave all iniquity behind you. Then your face will brighten with innocence. You will be strong and free of fear. You will forget your misery; it will be like water flowing away. Your life will be brighter than the noonday. Even darkness will be as bright as morning. Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. You will lie down unafraid, and many will look to you for help. But the wicked will be blinded. They will have no escape. Their only hope is death.”

Observation: Zophar isn't trying to give Job the smackdown here . . . despite the fact that I've read it that way my whole life, and some Bible translators saw it that way. Today, I read in these words hope. So much hope. Zophar is telling Job to stop complaining and whining "poor me" (even though he had tremendous reason to do so!), and to trust that God knows what He's doing, let go of whatever is past, look forward, and get back to giving the Highest His due. 

Application: How often do I handwring and analyze and latch on to what is past . . . worrying more about why I got into the mess I'm in, instead of getting down to business and humbling myself before my Maker, listening carefully--for He will tell me (is crazy to tell me!) what I need to be to get out of it. 

Prayer: Father, help me to let go of what's behind me. Show me the peaceful path of submission, for I'm so incredibly glad  I know I can trust Your judgement fully, for You are faithful! :-) So show me the next step into freedom! In Jesus' most amazing name, amen. :-)