Well.
There's too much to fit it into one word.
Every so often, and sometimes in batches, I have a Sunday where I learn so many things. So many keys to open doors I've been standing outside of, sometimes knocking, sometimes praying, sometimes singing or weeping. I get instruction from heaven, an extra-awesome bear hug from Jesus, an infilling and refreshing that propels me into the waiting week with joy. Last Sunday was one of those.
But Monday morning. Oh, heavens. Expecting to leap out of bed with joy and energy, it was as if the enemy of my soul had rolled up his sleeves and threw himself into testing my new light and joy. With a vengeance.
Depression and heaviness. Hands stiff with swelling. Aches and very little energy. I limped along as best I could with a tremendous amount of help from my amazing children. I got them to their grandmother's house to play with their visiting cousin, visited with my mom for a while, and then headed off with my youngest for an appointment.
For weeks now, if not months, God has been entreating me, so sweetly, to spend time with Him, reminding me with this standing invitation of the sweetness and refreshing that fills my soul when I rest in Him. I had also been moved upon earlier that morning to compile a playlist of certain songs, completed in small moments here and there. And as I drove, listening to that playlist, a song came on that spoke directly into the state of my body, mind and heart, into the hunger I felt for the presence of God within me, and finally opened wide the doorway into the standing invitation of resting in Him.
From that moment, every ailment, all heaviness, fled. And I learned how to find the place God had been beckoning me into . . . a place of safety, comfort and strength that I had only known in the context of corporate worship. I now have a new pearl of great price tucked deep into my soul; a new upwelling of the fountain of Living Water to drink from, to let shower down over me and soak me through and through.
I don't know if I can do justice to this experience . . . but my purpose isn't to give you the completeness of it. My purpose is to shout from the rooftops that our God can be taken at His word, that He can--and will--be found. And you will find Him, over and over, around every corner of your heart.
So talk to Him. Find the quiet space within you where you can shut the door on the mental chatter and simply BE. Then let the Living God, the Lord God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, come. Let Him sit with you. Soak in His love. And find rest for your soul.
