"That is why I would remind you to stir up (rekindle the embers of, fan the flame of, and keep burning) the [gracious] gift of God, [the inner fire] that is in you by means of the laying on of my hands [with those of the elders at your ordination]." ~2 Tim 1:6Paul is reminding Timothy that it takes effort and care to continue in the Holy Spirit. And it's a beautiful, and powerful, reminder for me.
Sunday night, I could hardly sleep, I was SO excited for what God had showed me, on Sunday, He would do in my life, if I partnered with Him. I got up early, spent time with Him in the word, had tons of energy (despite a short and restless night--I hadn't slept like that since Christmas Eve as a kid!), and had a beautiful day of deep freedom. I had so much energy that I stayed up way too late, and then Tuesday didn't go so well, because I gave into my flesh and didn't get up to spend time with God in the quiet of the morning. {facepalm} There were still plenty of miracles, and He gave me a chance to serve that I cherish, but I recognized that the pattern of my day matched more closely the way things had been for most of my life. I didn't stir things up very well at all, didn't take the time to orient my day to Jesus when things were quiet, and while I was given a beautiful opportunity to bless and serve, my prayers lacked the power they needed, and that felt really lame. {facepalm}
This morning, when my alarm went off in the dark (thanks, daylight savings--I have always really disliked getting up in the dark), and my tonsils felt like sandpaper golf balls, and my sinuses felt like they were on fire, and I really didn't want to get out of bed, I remembered the testimony AmberDawn shared on facebook a little while back about a pastor who had the Asiatic Flu, and yet he knew that God had given him victory. He chose to walk out the will of God that day, feeling sick enough to literally die . . . but he had the word of God to him that victory was in the pulpit. So he filled his pulpit. In the morning service, he felt complete relief while he was in that pulpit. For the rest of the day, he battled fear in his bed, feeling ready to die, and hearing the enemy tell him he actually would die if he got out of bed. But he arose, and filled the pulpit for the evening service . . . and THAT was when he claimed victory. He walked away from that service completely healed.
I'm claiming victory . . . even when it seems like I'm failing, because there is a battle going on. Battles will come. But they will not determine what I think, or what I expect, or how early I get up in the morning. ;-) (I'm not giving up the ground I've just reclaimed!)
Lord Jesus, I TRUST YOU. I trust You to bear me up, to heal my body, to clothe me in Your righteousness, that my sin is covered by Your blood, and that You will walk with me. I have known, since You saved me, that I am Yours . . . but the knowledge You gave me Sunday that You truly are mine is what fills me with trust and a beautiful certainty. That I can claim You, call upon You, and my entreaty is music to Your ears. That I have a right, by the gift You have given me, to call on Your name. I can approach the throne of grace boldly, and I can do impossible things, because You are my IMPOSSIBLE God. :-) Thank You, Lord, for faith to walk on. Thank You, Lord, for understanding . . . for what You show me . . . for the ways You continue patiently working with me. Thank You for using me to bless . . . I am always filled with awe and wonder at the way You work in Your children's lives . . . and Lord, thank You so much for showing me that it's not just me that can miss out if I give into my flesh and stay in bed. You needed me this morning, as did someone I love so very much. Thank You for using me in Your work, already today. I glorify Your name, for You are Beautiful, Your Name is Highest, and I revel in You! Amen.
